My-Serendipity.net - Echoes in the Silence

Everyone stood at once, stretching their legs and gathering their belongings, each hoping to the first ones off the full plane. Kaylen grabbed her Cosmo out of the magazine pouch in front of her seat and joined the flow past the flight attendants. "Welcome to San Francisco, enjoy your visit." They were all together too perky.

She was here on a mission to save her brothers sanity. Hayden had been away from home for three weeks, with still another week to go before he planned on meeting Melissa in Toronto. While she knew her brother was never short on worry, much of it was completely irrational in her opinion. Still, she couldn’t deny the desperation in his voice the day before when he called to ask for help. Even if she could have found a way to dismiss it, there was a matching tinge in Melissa’s tone that she had never heard. Truth be told, it scared her.

Expecting to meet her sister-in-law in baggage claim, she was surprised to see Beth there instead. Immediately the thought hit her that maybe Hayden was more right than she wanted to believe. Passing over the pleasantries she cut to the important question. "Is Melissa ok?"

"Her truck broke down if you can believe it!" Beth threw her arms up, as if cursing the unknown force that was causing her best friend such fits.

"Do we need to go get her?"

"No, her dad and Eric are taking care of that. She really didn’t need this on top of everything else. Let me just say how glad we all are that you’re making this drive with her."

"…and it should be even more fun in a broken truck."

"Oh, they’ll get it fixed by tomorrow or Eric will give her his. I won’t let him behind the wheel until his cast comes off anyway."

Traveling with only a carry on, they skipped the wait at the carousels, going right out to the car and were on their way again. "So, what have I gotten myself into?" Kaylen asked cautiously as Beth drove them out of the airport. "Hayden didn’t make a whole lot of sense, only that he was worried about her."

"We all are," Beth sighed. "She is flat out determined to not fly to Toronto. I’ve tried to get her to but she won’t leave Kona with me, she won’t take her to Kate’s and you know how she hates to fly her. The two of them need to be together right now, especially with Hayden gone, but it’s not like they haven’t flown before." Her exasperation at the whole mess was evident as Beth was driving while her hands did all the talking.

"Ok," she said softly, trying to bring down the mood a bit. "But what happened to make you all so frantic?"

"The last week has been undeniably rough, but in denial is right where she is. You know she had a little tussle with Danny over his commitment to the team, right? That was a week ago and she hasn’t heard from him."

"Uh oh…"

"Yes and it only gets worse. The team had two intense searches really close together and neither ended the way she wanted. She’s second guessing herself as a trainer, absolutely heartbroken over the failed searches, missing her husband and feeling needy, which she hates. Now, to top it all off, her truck died on her right before she’s supposed to drive 4,000 miles. I would ask what else could possibly happen but, at this point, I think I’d jinx her."

"When I called to see if I could come out, she didn’t sound like herself, but I think she was trying to."

"That’s the part that worries us. We all know that her assurances of ‘I’m fine’ don’t hold water. If she has 5 days in a car to think about everything going on, she’ll be a wreck. Eric and I have both tried to get her to talk but we get ‘I’m fine…let’s talk about the wedding’ and she changes the subject. Hayden gets ‘No…tell me about your day.’ If you can get her to talk, then great, but otherwise, we just would all feel better if someone was with her on the road. Hayden says you two get along well."

"Yeah, but I guess we’re going to find out how well," Kaylen grinned. "Aren’t we?"

Later that night, each of them exhausted for entirely different reasons, Melissa borrowed Eric’s truck and drove Kaylen back to the house. Happy to be home, she poured them both a glass of iced tea and they fell into cushioned lawn chairs and unexpected total silence on the back patio. For the longest time the only sound to be heard was the chirping crickets as Kaylen took everything in and tried to formulate an approach that she thought would yield the some answers. No concocted scenario played well in her mind, she was a bad liar and she knew it. Honesty was by far the best idea and it’s something that Melissa would appreciate.

"You know…everyone’s worried about you."

Melissa ran her finger around the rim of her glass and sighed before answering. "I know."

"Should they be?" She watched her closely and for the first time Kaylen saw a bit of the façade fade from Melissa’s face.

"It’s not like I’m going to drive my truck off a cliff or anything," she finally offered, but her voice was barely above a whisper as she finished. "I’m just…scattered."

Not wanting to stop her, she waited, knowing that when Melissa was ready, she’d continue.

"As focused as I can be, this really isn’t anything new. It’s how it’s always been. Lately though, I just feel so overwhelmed and discouraged and beaten down. I hate feeling like this Kaylen, I do… I can’t seem to fix anything and now everyone is worrying about me and I…" the crack in her voice made her stop.

"When this happens normally, what do you do to put things back on track?"

"Hayden talks me through it…"

"Which isn’t working this time," she interrupted, "because not having him here is one of the problems and you don’t want him to feel guilty about it."

Melissa didn’t answer, just went back to spinning her fingertip along the rim of her glass.

The quiet got to Kaylen though, so she tried to get her talking again. "Are you sure you don’t want to fly back?"

"Beth, Eric, your brother…they all want me to. I know they’re worried but I need them to trust me." Bordering on pleading, the desperation felt like a punch in Kaylen’s gut. "I need what they’re afraid of me having…time. I need to find my center again. It’s a week, that’s it, and I don’t want Hayden to see me like this. It’s humiliating…"

"It’s human."

The simple admission made Melissa’s expression relax. "You sound like him."

"So, he reads a lot of Cosmo too, does he?" she laughed

Hearing laughter made Melissa laugh a little too, and her mood lightened. "I know he asked you to make this trip with me, but I really am glad you’re here."

"He did ask," she admitted, "but wouldn’t lie to you. The way Mom was carrying on about this anniversary extravaganza she’s planning was making me nuts. Getting away from home was a pretty nice incentive."

"That bad huh?"

"IN-SANE."

"Fair enough then," Melissa grinned and raised her glass. "Here is to rescuing each other."

Silence fell again but it was peaceful, the uneasiness and tension had passed. There had been a long burning question that ate at Kaylen and the calm only caused her curiosity to fester. "You listen to what I have to say," she said matter-of-factly.

"Of course."

"You’ve never treated me like a kid."

"Why would I?"

"Everyone else does."

Melissa looked over for the first time as she answered. "Everyone else isn’t the youngest." Watching as the words sunk in, she continued. "Eric can be a pill, but you’ve got older brother syndrome times two with the added bonus of older sister. I can’t even begin to imagine how dismissed you feel on a daily basis."

"You do get it," she answered quietly.

"Well, I have an idea. No one can fully understand except you, but as baby sisters, we walk similar paths. Eric never seemed to listen to me either but, he always did without really letting on. Tove and Hayden listen to you too, but if they admit you have valid opinions it means you’re growing up and protecting you from the world gets more difficult."

"So what do I do? Not grow up? That doesn’t sound like much of a possibility."

"Just keep being you. Eric and Tove and Hayden, even our fathers, they all mean well, they’re just a bit slow on the uptake," she offered with a wink. "I know it’s frustrating, but one day you’ll say something and they won’t look at you like some real adult used you as a ventriloquist dummy. They’ll look at you like you’ve voiced the idea they were banging around in their head. When that clicks for them, you won’t be the ‘baby’ sister any more. The great thing is that they’ll always protect you like you are."

"Best of both worlds…if I can get there."

"You’ll make it," she encouraged. "Christensen’s are fighters. They don’t give up."

"That includes you, you know."

Unsure of what to say, she hesitated. It wasn’t a time for witty remarks or wise cracks. Kaylen spoke from her heart, so that’s how Melissa would answer. "Thank you," she offered sincerely. "Thank you for being here, for being you, and for believing."

"You’re welcome. Now…I think I believe it’s time for bed. I’m exhausted."

The ability to joke around had returned some and it was like a breath of fresh air. "Once again," she wagged her finger between the two of them, "we’re on the same page you and me."

As she crawled into bed, she looked at Hayden’s empty pillow and rested her hand on it. "I miss you," she whispered softly as she closed her eyes, "but I’ll see you soon and I won’t give up."