Part 2

“Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul

- and sings the tune without words, and never stops - at all.”

- Emily Dickensen

*Part 2

Melissa was just about to open her eyes when the unmistakable, undesirable, aroma of dog breath warmed her face.  Peeking out only one eye, she spied Kona, standing above her, staring in anticipation.  “Subtle girl, very subtle,” she whispered, trying not to wake Hayden.  “Ok, we’ll go…”

Kona was serious about their morning jogs, even when her partner wasn’t.  It had been a late night for Melissa and Hayden and they had a long, but exciting day ahead of them.  More time in bed with her husband sounded divine, but she knew Kona would be impossible without that jog.  As she began to roll out of bed to get dressed, she felt hands around her waist pulling her back into the abyss under the blankets.  “Oh no you don’t,” Hayden purred, only to catch a glare from Kona.  “Relax girl, you’ll get to go.  I just need a kiss first.”

Melissa was all too happy to oblige.  The feel of his kisses still gave her butterflies, each one tender and full of care.  She would have been happy staying there all day, doing nothing but enjoying the taste of his lips and feel of his skin. 

Resting with her head cradled in a fluffy pillow and held tight in his arms, Hayden watched her.  His mind took pictures to lock in his memory with all the other moments he never wanted to forget.  “Better today?”

“Much.  How about you?  Big day today…are you ready?”

“Probably not.”  Apparently taking too long to give up Melissa’s attention, it was Hayden’s turn to be on the receiving end of Konas breath as she heaved a heavy sigh right into his face.  “Ok,” he said rubbing her ears, “Come on, let’s all go.”

It wasn’t a regular occurrence for Hayden to join them.  Melissa might call it jogging but even when she halfed their pace so he could keep up, it was still too fast and he didn’t like slowing them down.  Their runs weren’t recreational, but part of their continual training.  Usually he would see them off and have breakfast waiting when they got back, but today was different.  Today he needed to focus his thoughts on the day ahead and get any handle he could on the hysteria that was about to encompass their lives.  Today he needed to be with Melissa.

Lost in his own thoughts the first half of the run, he thought of his life and how much it had changed over the last several years.  He had a career he loved, a woman he adored and more happiness than he had ever wished for.  Still, he knew the next few months would be difficult and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t think of a way to really prepare Melissa.  He kept putting one foot forward, hoping the words would find him.

What he didn’t realize was that Melissa already knew, having recognized the concern growing behind his eyes.  She waited until they were off the trail, back on the road, and headed toward the house before speaking up.  “I was thinking about New York,” she said casually, “when you went with me back to Ground Zero and about how some things don’t seem to change.”

“Like what?” he huffed, still trying to keep up and run beside her.

“I still feel guilty when I can’t help everyone and you still worry about us having a life like the ones we grew up with.”

“How do you do that?” he grinned.

“It’s a gift,” she laughed back, helping to improve his spirits and ease his worry.  “Should I tell you the same thing I told you then?  We love our jobs and each other, whatever builds from that is our life – good and bad.  So far, I’m not complaining,” she said with a little wink.  “I already lived one part of my life based on my parents decisions and another on my own.  I want to live this part based our OUR decisions.  Don’t worry so much about it being different – different is good, it’s fresh and exciting and unpredictable.”

“But this wasn’t our decision, it was mine before I met you.  It starts today…the press, the schedules…the time apart.  It involves you and you had no say in it.”

“It’s not any different than you having to deal with my work on the team.  You didn’t have any say in that either, but it’s what I do just like acting is what you do.  It’s not like we haven’t been apart before.”

“These are bad Lissa.  You weren’t around when ‘Clones’ opened, but it was like nothing I had ever counted on and this one is going to be so much worse.”

“You’re forgetting you’re married to fan,” she began to huff, running and talking was difficult.  “I don’t want us to be apart but I’ve known this was coming, it’s not like I’ve been blindsided.  I didn’t have a say in you taking the part, but I had a say in being involved.  You know me love, you know I think everything through.”

She had him there.  He couldn’t think of any decision she hadn’t worked though the details of before acting on, even if it had to be quick, she still did it.  His response was momentarily stalled as they watched a line of vans and limos drive past them, continuing down the road toward George Lucas’ Skywalker Ranch.  “So, when did you start thinking this one through?”

“Not telling.  You’re going to have to catch me if you want to know,” she teased, picking up the pace.

“Catch you huh?” he said speeding up.

“Yep.  Your anxious public is arriving and we’ve been jogging far too long.  Time to end the agony,” she laughed.  Turning up their driveway, Melissa kicked it into a full-blown sprint.

“You’re not gonna loose me,” he called, gaining only slightly on her.

“I hope not, but I’m still not telling unless you catch me.”  Kona beat them all back to the porch and Hayden did catch Melissa right at the end, but she had rather obviously thrown the race in favor of being caught.

“Ok,” he wheezed.  “I got you.  Fess up.”

“Love?  Are you ok?  You look pale…”

“I’ll be fine,” he offered, clutching his waist and bending over trying to regulate his breathing.  “We just had to build on a hill…” he puffed.

“Mouth to mouth could be fun…”

“Lissa!”

“Ok.  Ok.  Come in the house and sit down.  George will string me up if I take his leading man out of commission today…although you’re doing a good Vader impression at the moment.”  Resting his arm across her shoulders, she helped support him as they headed into the kitchen.  “Let me get you some water.”

“Fess!”

“Disneyland,” she grinned, as he fell into a kitchen chair.  She put a glass of water next to him on the table, “I thought this through at Disneyland.  Now, drink slow or you’ll throw up.”

“You started thinking about today, 2 years ago?  On our first date?”

“Obsessive, I know, but it was fish or cut bait,” she sighed, leaning against the counter.

“But on our first date?  Wow!”

“It was a big fork in my emotional freeway,” she shrugged.  “I had no choice but to choose.  You were famous, that wasn’t going to change, but neither were my feelings for you.”

“Feelings huh?” he continued to huff.

“We were friends.  We were good at that.  Talking to you and sending emails was comfortable.  It was safe.  The two times we were actually face to face were like fairytales, complete with tuxes, formals, photographers, and twirling around the dance floor…you can’t help but try and dismiss the skips of your heart when you feel like Cinderella.  Our trip to Disneyland disrupted my reasoning.  Suddenly, it was just regular ol’ you and regular ol’ me.  No cameras, no heels, no bow ties, no preconceived romantic notions…just sunscreen, baseball caps and sneakers.

“The real us.”  His breathing finally sounded close to normal.

“Exactly.  There I was with no pumpkin coach, no glass slippers, and yet I still felt like Cinderella.  So I found myself looking at the obvious decision.  Do I stay safe, be only your friend and ignore my heart or do I risk it all for a chance at more and accept all that would come with it?  I knew you still had one more Star Wars movie to do and what that entailed.  I had chips in my house with your face on the bag, its kind of hard to deny the media madness,” she laughed.  “I thought about the movies, the paparazzi, the time away, the public eye – but every doubt I had always vanished with your touch.”

Having finally caught his breath, Hayden stood up and walked to her, resting his hands on her neck, his body pressed against hers.  “All this time I’ve been wrong about my bracelet and you never told me.”

Bringing her hands up to his wrists, Melissa brushed her fingers over the thinly rolled leather bracelet she had made for him.  She rested her palm over the small turquoise stones and silver medallions that twisted on the band, “Wrong?”

“You told me the stones were symbols of a story unique to us, a memory I could recall so that I would always know how much you cared, even if you weren’t around.  I always knew it was the tree house at Disneyland.  The way the sunset lit your face, how it felt to finally kiss you the way I had wanted to from the moment I saw you, and how high I felt when you told me you lost your heart…but that’s not completely right, is it?  You picked the tree house because it’s when you made your choice.  When you chose the risk....”

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them,” she whispered, looking up and into his eyes.  “Walt Disney said that.  Sounds like good advice, don’t you think?”

“Appropriate person, that’s for sure.  I don’t understand why you never told me I was wrong.”

“Because you weren’t.  One moment, two perspectives,” she smiled, “both special.”

So many things ran though his mind, that Hayden stopped trying to understand them all, deciding instead to focus on only her.  Moving his hands to her waist, he lifted her up to sit on the counter, leveling their eyes to each other.  He looked at all the unique features of her face, still glistening from the sweat of their run.  The way her eyelashes curled up, the winkles that formed between her eyebrows when she was confused, the way she lowered her eyelids to squint into his, searching for an answer she knew was there…

“You’re staring at me,” she murmured, tilting her head to one side.

“I can’t help it,” he sighed, moving his hands to begin gently kneading her neck.  “Every night I close my eyes knowing that I could never love you more and yet, every morning I open them and find that I was mistaken.”

“I know the feeling.”

The words barely escaped her lips before Hayden’s covered them.  The heat from his body raising her own temperature, the feel of his hands sliding down her chest making her so dizzy she was thankful when he wrapped them around her and pulled her so close there was no room for air between them.

“What time are we supposed to be at Georges?” he barely muttered as his nose nudged hers.

“A few hours, why?” she played along with a flirty bat of her eyelashes.  “You have something in mind other than breakfast?”

“Oh, I’m thinking of something edible,” he purred, “but it’s not pancakes.”

The corners of her mouth turning up into teasing smile, she wrapped her legs around his waist, her fingers toying with his hair, twisting the curls that met his neck.  “Aww, that’s too bad, I was kind of looking forward to the syrup.  It’s just so sweet,” she said placing kisses around his face as she whispered, “and so sticky...”

Hayden couldn’t mask the loudness as he swallowed, choking on his own desire, fueled by the coyness in her tone and the extra sparkle in her eye.  His hands acted on their own accord, pulling her close to him again before sliding under her shirt.  “You are just so… so…” struggling with a word to describe how she leveled him, his train of thought derailed by a familiar string of falsetto beeps.  “So popular,” he sighed.

“You know, as often as this pager goes off, I really should have it set to vibrate,” she grinned.  “At least then it would add to the fun.”

“You’re bad.”

“Yeah, but you love it.”

“…And you,” he sighed.  So, is it the team?”

“I hope not,” she said pulling the small beeper out of its clip and looking at the number.  “No, it’s Beth.  Can you hand me the phone?”

“Do you think your brother will ever get up the guts to propose to her?  They’ve been together practically as long as we have.”  Leaning into her, he reached behind her to take the phone off its cradle on the wall, nibbling on her neck as he went.

“Oh, now who’s bad?” she sighed.  “Eric is a tough one to figure out.  Beth has been my best friend since the 2nd grade, it’s not like he can say he doesn’t know her,” she giggled as she took the phone.  “I think marriage scares him a little.”

“He’s a fireman, I thought they were supposed to be fearless.”

“When it comes to his job, he’s got enough courage for the entire squad, but that doesn’t mean he’s not still scared.  He relies on his training,” she continued as she dialed the number.  “Marriage is different.  The ‘great marriage’ indicator bar was set pretty high by our parents and I think he worries about living up to it.  You know it’s a family trait to try and be perfect…” Melissa was cut off by a breathless ‘hello’ on the other end of the line.  “Hey you,” she beamed, “it’s me.  You aren’t canceling today are you?”

Hayden didn’t need to know what she heard through the receiver, he could figure out all he needed by the look on his wife’s face.  While her tone to Beth was calming, there was a pleading in her eyes, a silent call for help.  He jogged from the room only momentarily, making sure Kona and Phoebe were in and grabbing his keys, continuing to listen in on the one sided conversation.  “Did you call Mom and Dad?  Ok, don’t worry, I will,” she said as he came back in.  “Hayden has his keys, we’re on our way.  Please drive carefully.  We’ll be right there.”

“Where are we going?” he asked as she hung up the phone.

“University Hospital.  Eric’s been hurt.”

“Any idea how bad?” he asked as they made their way out the front door.

“Beth didn’t know, his captain called her…but she’s really scared.  She just kept mumbling that he had to be ok.  Love?” she asked, stopping as he opened the car door for her.  “He will be ok, won’t he?”

“He’s like you beautiful.  He’s tough and doesn’t give up.  Whatever’s happened, he’ll kick it.”

Melissa merely nodded as Hayden closed the door and slid in behind the wheel of the black Jaguar, racing down their driveway to face the uncertainly that awaited them at the hospital.