Part 36

"How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face..."
-W.B. Yeats

*Part 36

Confined to her bed with only her broken heart for company, Melissa stared out of the window most of the night.  The pain medication they had been giving her did a fair job of making her sleepy but, even if she had been able to quiet her mind long enough to drift off, the nurses constant checks would keep her awake.  The knot in her stomach filling any space where food might have gone, breakfast arrived but was soon taken away having only been mildly picked at.  Hoping the nurses were done for a while, she left herself propped up and closed her eyes.

Sensing someone in the room, she figured it to be another nurse until the subtle scent of musk drifted past her and she felt a hand cover hers.  "Hayden!" she assumed as she opened her eyes, the hope in them fading when she saw the man sitting next to her.  "Tove..."

"Hey Melissa," he smiled, his voice low and kind.

"Hayden isn't here."  Her voice cracked when she spoke as she tried to keep from falling apart.  She had only been around Hayden's brother a few times, yet he struck her a nice man and she knew Hayden looked up to him as younger brothers do of their older siblings.

"I know," he answered, moving his hand around to hold hers.  "I came to check on you.  Hayden left me a message that you were fine and that he was headed to Sydney.  Besides being able to tell my Mom, honestly, that I had seen you and that you really are ok, I was hoping you could fill in the missing parts of Hayden's message."

Knowing it wouldn't be the only time she had to explain Hayden's departure, she did her best to recount the previous nights events for Tove.  She had almost made it, but when the time came to admit to him that she had all but told Hayden to leave, it became too much for her and she began to cry.

Tentatively he brushed his thumb across her cheek.  "Now, no tears."  His voice was calm and reassuring to her frazzled emotions.  "I'll fix this, don't worry.  I'll take care of it."

"No," she corrected, her posture stiffening.  "You can't.  Thank you for wanting to help, but only Hayden can change this.  He has a lot to come to terms with."  Nervously straightening her blanket she asked a question whose answer she feared.  "Do you think he'll come back?

"My brother has never given up on anything he's ever wanted and I have never seen him want anything as much as he wants to be with you.  You trusted him enough to let him go, hold onto that."

"I'll try," she replied, squeezing his hand.

"So, here is my plan," his smile lifting her spirits.  "I've left Hayden a message that I'll be in Sydney in a week.  I thought I'd get a hotel in town and just be here if you need anything while you get back on your feet."

Thoughtfulness seemed to run in the Christensen family and the sentiment touched her.  "You don't have to do that Tove, really.  I'll be fine."

"I have no doubts about that.  However," he grinned, "the day my brother fell in love with you, whether you like it or not, you became a part of our family.  Now, I know we can be pretty mixed up sometimes, but we do always take care of each other."

"I suspect that, like your brother, you can be very convincing and that I would be fighting a loosing battle if I tried to resist," an inadvertent smile showing through.

"Very true," he said looking deep into her eyes.  "Hayden is right.  Your smile lights up a room."  His words caused Melissa's mind to focus on the emptiness created by Hayden's departure and she began to cry again.  Taking her in his arms, she wept on his shoulder with heavy sobs.  "He loves you Melissa," he spoke softly.  "He loves you so much."

While they were meant to console her, Tove's words caused her to weep even harder.  "I'm sorry..." she sniffled, leaning back from him.

"Did you sleep at all last night?"

"No," she shook her head in reply.  "I couldn't.  I've gotten used to the feel of Hayden's arms, the sweet smell of his skin, the sound of his heart beating...  Until I get out of here I can't even curl up with Kona.  I haven't felt this alone in a really long time.  All I could think of was..."

He tilted his head to look up into her eyes, his curiosity peaked, "Was what?" he asked.

"How very much I miss him," she finished through choked back tears.  "It hasn't even been a day and I ache for him.  I feel like I pushed him away, like I let him down and that he'll never forgive me..." She fell back into Tove's arms and began to cry again, his hands stroking her back, offering only solace.

"You're talking gibberish.  From what you've told me, there is nothing to forgive.  You're all mixed up because you're exhausted.  Come here," he offered, turning to sit next to her on the bed.  "I know I'm not Hayden or even Kona, but I'm here and you aren't alone."  Raising his arm up, Melissa leaned in and rested her head against his chest as he held her close.

"You smell like he does."

"That's because the little twit steals my cologne," he laughed, happy to hear her chuckle slightly in return.  "Try and get some sleep.  Hayden is a lot of things, but stupid isn't one of them.  He knows how lucky he is.  He won't forget that."

"I'm the lucky one," she said, her voice fading.  The warmth from his body and the beat of his heart were all that Melissa needed to finally drift off.  She trusted Tove because Hayden did and she believed in Hayden's choices.  All she could do was have faith that the choices that faced him now didn't push them further apart.

*****

Tove made good on his offer, staying close to Melissa even with the constant flow of visitors to her room, everyone from George to the search team.  It was obvious that sitting still was not something she was used to and he was happy spending the days helping her pass the time by either playing cards or just letting her talk. 

He was there with Eric and Beth when she was released from the hospital, fielding the press as they got her into the car.  Not seeing Hayden had caused a tabloid feeding frenzy of speculation on his whereabouts,calmed only by Tove's convincing explanation that Hayden had left to begin filming in Sydney.  Not wanting Kona to be in the middle of the madness, her reunion with Melissa had waited until the car pulled up to the house. 

Goosebumps covered her arms as she recalled the last time she had been there and the terror she had felt as she left.  The threats were silenced, but not the fears until Kona ran from the house and into her arms.  During his last visit, George had told her about Kona's heroic efforts, but the sight of the stitches in her head where what made it real.

Over the next couple days Melissa grew more relaxed at home.  Kona, as usual, never left her and having her back to curl up with seemed almost therapeutic.  For the first few nights, Beth or Eric stayed at the house, but when work schedules called them away, Tove stepped in.  Giving up his room at the hotel, he spent the days prior to leaving with Melissa at the house.  Still weak, sore and stubborn, it frustrated her that she needed so much assistance, even for the simplest of tasks - like climbing the stairs.

His days were busy with business calls and last minute details but, like his brother, he kept the evenings open for Melissa.  They would sit on the couch and watch movies or play games, filling the silences with idle chitchat.  He didn't bring up Hayden, but would listen intently whenever she did, focusing on her eyes and the passion behind them.   

The night before Mylene's sentencing they were flipping channels on the television when Melissa paused to listen to Access Hollywood.  "Cast and crew are hard at work in Sydney, Australia as filming began this week on the last of the 'Star Wars' movies," the host reported with video images of the cast waving to fans playing behind her.  "People hoping to see hunky Hayden Christensen were disappointed as the future Darth Vader used the force to slip past the cheering crowds."

Tove hated the silence that followed Melissa hastily turning the channel.  "You know, I've only been here 5 days, and I'm certain that if that were me, I'd be ditching crowds too."

The furrow growing between Melissa's eyebrows relayed her puzzlement.

"Did Hayden ever tell you about the days after the Golden Globes?  How he practically tackled me to get a hold of a magazine that had your picture in it?  One dance and he was hooked - I could tell, even though I didn't really understand it and he emphatically denied it.  Spending these last few days with you, well, let's just say I understand now."

"Tove, I..."

"No worries Melissa," he assured her, recognizing that he had made her uncomfortable.  "I'm harmless."

"I'm not sure any Christensen male is totally harmless," she laughed.  "But I am glad you're here."

"Anytime," he answered, his expression so matched to Hayden's that Melissa had to close her eyes.

*****

The morning of the sentencing had arrived and Detective Landis had asked Melissa and Kona to attend so that the judge could put faces to the names.  Beth and Eric came along for moral support, but it was Tove who Melissa relied on for physical support.  She held to his arm with one hand, her other grasping a cane for balance as well as Kona's leash.  The press was camped on the courthouse steps, never missing an opportunity for a photo or a statement.  As Hayden had always done, Tove shielded her from them; doing his best to enable her to keep what privacy she had left.

As they entered the courtroom, the search team surprised Melissa, already having filled the seats, ready to show everyone that they supported their friend.  When Mylene was brought into the packed court, it was evident that she had messed with the wrong person.  When the judge asked Melissa if she had anything she would like to have read into the record for the court's consideration before sentencing, Tove and Eric helped her stand up.  Using her cane and walking slowly to a small podium, Kona sat perfectly still next to her while she spoke.

"When I became a member of a search and rescue team, I was taught to put my personal fears aside.  We were there to do a job, to provide a service considered invaluable by those in need.  Kona and I have searched New York after the terrorist attacks, spent countless nights in mountains, and been dropped in from helicopters to search crash sites.  Never have I been more scared than I was when I started receiving the threats that Miss Perry has confessed to sending."  She glanced over at Mylene who was sitting smugly in her chair, no remorse showing in her expression.

"The threats arrived at my job and at the home I share with my best friend.  I lived with police patrolling our neighborhood and dreading the mail.  When I accepted a ride from Miss Perry while staying on the property owned by Mr. Lucas, I never imagined myself to be anywhere but in the company of someone I could trust.  I don't remember seeing the gun, only hearing the shot, but I will hear Kona's pained cries and her scratches at the door for the rest of my life."  Rubbing her hand down the side of Kona's face, Melissa concluded her comments. 

"My partner and my friend remembered our training and put her personal fears aside.  Had it not been for her courageous actions, I would not be standing before you today.  The stitches in her head are to close the wounds she received from jumping through a closed window to seek help for me.  I was threatened, shot, and left for dead for nothing more than jealousy.  I implore you to consider her next crush and the potential for torment to him and those he loves.  Confine her so that she may get the help she so desperately needs.  No one else should have to go through this.  Her next victim might not be as lucky as I was.  Thank you."

The nudge nodded as she walked back to her seat.  "Thank you Miss Hamilton, the court greatly appreciates your input.  If Miss Perry would stand, I am ready to pass sentence."  As she stood Melissa felt someone squeeze her hand.  Looking down, she was happy to see it was Eric. 

"Mylene Perry, you have confessed to the charge of attempted murder, a class 2 felony involving a deadly weapon.  The lengths that you went to in your attempts to end a human life appall this court.  As sickened as I am by your actions, my optimism is returned by the heroics of a dog devoted to her owner.  You owe that dog your life for had she not gone to the lengths that she did, you would be standing before me today facing a murder charge.  It is the judgment of this court that you serve the maximum penalty allowed by law.  You are hereby remanded to the California prison system and ordered to serve a term of 21 years.  Court is adjourned."

The courtroom cheered as the judge left the bench, Eric grabbed his sister in a hug that caused her to grimace from it's intensity.  "Hey you big lug," she pestered, "I just got out of the hospital.  Can we try and not put me back in?"

The triumphant group left the building, Melissa again on Tove's arm, so happy she barely noticed the photographers snapping pictures.  They made their way to Melissa's favorite restaurant, and were all seated on the patio so Kona could stay with them.  Only Beth noticed her friend gazing at the bay and Alcatraz off in the distance.  "It's all different since the last time we were here, isn't it?"

"Not that different," she shook her head.  "Hayden wasn't at the ranch then either."

Kneeling next to her Beth lowered her voice so only Melissa could hear.  "We toasted that day to create the perfect universe and you had it for a while.  Now the question you have to answer is what you can do to get it back."

"Beth..."

"No.  No excuses.  You love him and if anyone can solve the problem of telling him without pushing him, it's you my friend.  Think about it."

That wouldn't be a problem - Melissa couldn't change her thoughts to anything else.

*****

A week had passed since Tove had arrived at the hospital and now it was time for him to leave for Sydney.  The morning sun lit the kitchen and a bleary eyed Melissa nursed a cup of tea, a wrapped package sat on the table in front of her.

"Well, I think I'm all set," he said as he sat across from her, eyeing the present.  "What's this?"

"This is the result of a night of internet searches," she grinned.  "You have done so much for me, staying here and helping when I needed it.  Being around you reminds me of all the things I love the most about your brother and why I'm not willing to let him go.  The present is for him, if you don't mind taking it with you."

Tove examined it, turning it around, curious as to its contents.  "Sure, but what is it?"

"Memories," she answered simply.  "Depending on the timing, they will either push him further away or help to bring him back.  I'm trusting you for that decision.  Please don't give them to him until you think he's ready to face them.  Eric will be here soon to drive us to the airport.  I had better go get ready."

"Do you need help," he sputtered.  "With the stairs I mean."

"I have to do this on my own eventually.  I'll yell if I fall," she laughed.

Tove nodded and waited until he heard the shower start before putting the box into his suitcase.  "Little brother," he said to himself.  "You better not screw this up."

Later that morning Melissa hugged him before he walked toward the terminal gate.  "Be safe and take care of Hayden," she said giving him a small kiss on the cheek.

Tove closed his eyes, not ready to say goodbye and lost in the scent of jasmine that he had heard his brother refer to so many times before.  Reminding himself that Melissa loved Hayden, he stepped back and took her hand.  "Is there anything you want me to tell him?"

"When he's ready to hear it, tell him that I would rather live 1 day with him than 100 days without him," a slight blush coloring her cheeks, "and that I would walk any path, no matter what obstacles it contained, as long as it led to him."

"How about that you love him?" he smirked.

"Nah," she joked back to him, "He already knows that."

With a last farewell hug, Melissa and Eric waved goodbye to Tove.  As they watched him disappear through the gate, they all quietly wondered if he would be able to change Hayden's mind.