Parts 19 & 20

"How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face..."
-W.B. Yeats

*Part 19

It wasn't long after breakfast that the family started arriving again, the house filling quickly with friendly chatter.  There were six of Hayden's cousins at the house, all looking forward to attending the hockey game that evening.  After only a half hour with the adults, the kids were bored and ready to leave, even if it meant waiting hours for the game to start.

"I have an idea," Hayden grinned, kissing his moms cheek as he grabbed the keys to her minivan.  "Everyone out to car!" 

Kona didn't seem at all upset about being left behind once she figured out that if she simply walked up to someone, they would pet her or rub her ears.  Melissa didn't like leaving her behind, but was at least relaxed that everyone there seemed responsible and would watch after her.

"Where are we headed?" she asked as she climbed in the car.

"You'll see," he said with a sly grin, which grew larger a short while later when they pulled into an ice skating rink.

"Oh no..." she laughed.  "I hope you have a lot of experience picking people up."

"Melissa, you can't ice skate?" asked Justin.

"I live in California, there isn't a lot of call for ice skating out there, but I just about did myself in on roller blades once, so be kind to me."

They got everyone inside and their skates on - all six cousins hit the rink like pros, even little Megan was skating.  "See, it's not that bad," Hayden assured her.   After only a few minutes of attempts, he realized that maybe he was wrong.  Melissa wasn't kidding, she really couldn't skate, but he was doing his best to keep her from falling.  It took them a while, but Melissa finally got her blades under her enough so that if she didn't try anything fancy, like moving her feet, she could at least stay upright.

"Yeah Mawissa!" giggled Megan as she skated past her.

"Oh, that's humiliating," she smiled back.  "I'm being out skated by a three year old.  Well, at least my partner is cute."

"Cute?" he mocked.

"Ok...force the truth out of me why don't ya...how does 'devastatingly handsome' sound?"

"Much better," he grinned.

Once Melissa was able to skate around the rink, she enjoyed their outing a lot more.  Hayden proved to be very protective of her, holding onto her each time they were on the ice.  It didn't matter where they were or what they were doing, she loved the feel of his arms around her, the sound of his voice in her ear, the way she felt when he was close to her.  Every time her thoughts would drift to having to say goodbye the next morning, she did her best to push them from her mind.

They sat down and watched the kids' skate, his arms folded around her like a warm blanket on a cold day, and they went over her pocket calendar.

"Ok, this is the weekend of the premiere," he pointed to a set of dates, "but I have to be there early for the press interviews.  How about if try and fly in a few days earlier still and we can drive down together?  Maybe stop along the way like you and Beth did.  Find a nice place on a beach somewhere...what do you think?"

"Like a little vacation, just us?  Sounds like heaven," she blushed.  "Have you noticed that we're never alone?"

Hayden twisted his bracelet around his wrist.  "We were once," he sighed, turning her face to his and kissing her slowly but with delicate passion.  "But for right now, we have to get the kids back to the car so we don't miss the game.  Maybe we can swing some more alone time tonight?"

"If you're offering, I'm accepting."

The kids were excited about the game, so getting them off the ice proved to not be very difficult.  Before long they were arriving at the Air Canada Center and were surrounded by insanely excited Leafs fans, Hayden included.

"Ok now, you have to help me out here tonight," Melissa explained before they got out of the car.  "I know nothing about hockey."  There was a collective gasp from the rear of the van as if she had confessed to some type of mortal sin. 

As all 8 settled into their seats, the game started.  The Leafs were taking on the New York Islanders and the crowd was absorbed by the game.  Melissa watched the players all battle for the puck.  Megan was getting quite a laugh out of Melissa constantly loosing its location on the ice.  She would cheer at a goal, only to have Megan lean over and whisper "you know that wasn't ours right?"  Hayden had never laughed so much through a game before.

Deciding it was best to follow the lead of those more experienced, Melissa began to cheer and jeer in accordance with her seven cohorts through the entire first period.  Trying to take in the experience she watched the crowd and the overhead video screens.  During what Hayden had explained as 'TV Timeouts', the video screens would pan the audience or pick out two people and write things around their picture for all to see.  Everyone always looked so thrilled to be on camera. 

With her understanding of the game improving during the second period, she had started to ask even more questions.

"Ok, why is the goalie banging his stick against the ice?" she asked quietly to Hayden.

"To let everyone know the other player is coming out of the penalty box," Megan answered, beating her famous cousin to the punch. 

"Out skated and now out knowledged...are you sure she's 3?" Melissa laughed.  "Is it wrong that I love it when they get into fights?"

"Nah, that's just hockey," Hayden grinned at her. "Don't worry about Megan, her Dad is insane about hockey, he's been versing her on it since birth I think.  I think you're doing great," he added with a kiss.

By the end of the second period Melissa was feeling a bit more comfortable with the terms and had a quick lesson with Justin during the intermission prior to start of play for the third period.  When the buzzer sounded, she was fairly proud of the fact that she'd at least gotten her terms right - now recognizing them would be more difficult, especially since the Leafs were winning by a large margin and Hayden had turned his attentions toward her instead of the ice.

He had held her hand throughout the game and, as the score margin grew, so did the amount of affection she received. From rubs on her back, to loving nibbles on her ear when he would whisper something to her, she was quickly turning to putty and wishing the game would end so they could finally be alone.

During a TV timeout during the third period, the roaming cameras were at work on the overhead screens again.  Much to the amusement of the cousins, the camera had managed to find Hayden and Melissa, talking to each other and not paying any attention.  Outlined in a giant heart with the two in the middle, the bottom of the giant screen read "KISS CAM."  Melissa was sure she turned at least six shades of red, her embarrassment temporarily forgotten when Hayden complied, giving her a sweet kiss.

"That will be in a tabloid by next week," Melissa laughed after the camera had focused on someone else.  "I can see the headlines now.  'Always a pleasure to kiss a Jedi' or maybe 'Jedi business, go back to your hockey game.'"

"How many times have you seen that movie anyway?"

"It would scare you, probably best not to ask," she smiled. 

The hockey game ended in a resounding victory for Toronto, it seemed the day's events just got better as they went along.  Young Megan had almost made it all the way through the game, but had finally fallen asleep with her head in Melissa's lap.  While Hayden and the cousins' grabbed jackets, Melissa carried Megan as they made their way out of the arena and back to the car for the drive home.

"I wish I could sleep this soundly," joked Melissa as she carried Megan into the house.  Hayden's parents were still talking to the family when they arrived, most taking their kids and heading to wherever they were staying.  Kona was ecstatic to see Melissa return, running around and through her feet.

"Melissa, can you put Megan in Kaylen's room?  She's still at her friends house and my sister, Bill, and the kids are all staying here tonight," Hayden's mom asked politely. 

As she tucked Megan into bed Hayden came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her.  "I'm sorry," he whispered, disappointment filling his voice.  "I didn't know they were staying tonight, who knows how late they'll be up."  He had so been looking forward to time alone with her.

Turning around to face him, she merely smiled and brushed her lips across his.  "All I want is to be with you."  Leading him out of the bedroom they headed back downstairs.  "Let's see if your mom needs any help in the kitchen, maybe it will give them less of a reason to stay up any later."

Tove was over visiting, and he sat with his parents still talking to his Aunt and Uncle.  The stereo was playing but you couldn't hear the music for the chatter.  Melissa and Hayden headed into the kitchen to see if they could help clean up, finally spotting the dirty dishes still outside on the patio table.  As they walked out of the back door the music suddenly became clearer, the outdoor speakers were turned down low, but weren't muddled by conversation.  As Melissa started to stack up plates, Hayden heard the words to the slow song playing.

"Dance with me," he asked holding out his hand for her.  "I know this song.  It says everything I want to."

He didn't have to ask twice, dancing with him was a lot like what she imagined floating on clouds to be.  She put a hand upon his shoulder taking his offered hand in her other.  She could feel pressure on the small of her back pulling her closer to him, while he brought their joined hands in until they were nestled between their hearts.  With their faces nuzzled close, they moved together listening to the words of the song.

 "These are the moments
 I know heaven must exist
 These are the moments
 I know all I need is this
 I have all I've waited for
 And I could not ask for more."

Hayden felt her body relax in his arms, giving herself not only to the meaning of the song, but also to him. 

 "I could not ask for more than this time together
 I could not ask for more than this time with you
 Every prayer has been answered
 Every dream I have's come true
 And right here in this moment
 Is right where I'm meant to be
 Here with you here with me." *

From the kitchen window the older generation watched, remembering how it felt when they were young and recalling the magic of falling in love.  They left the music playing, taking their memories with them as they turned down the lights and went to bed, leaving the young couple time to make memories all their own. 

The song ended and the starry-eyed pair returned to find the house quiet and dark.  Taking Melissa's hand, he led her back to his old room.  The days flirting catching up with them they collapsed into each other, Hayden capturing her with a kiss that buckled her knees.  Laying her down gently on his bed and covering her body with his, he continued the kiss he had waited all day to give her.  Encouraged by the feel of her hands caressing his neck and shoulders, her fingers working through his hair, and the way her body arched into his, Hayden's body took over.  Pressing against her and slowly sliding down her body, his lips continued their fervent attack, each touch bringing them closer.

Stopping for a moment, Hayden lifted himself up slightly to look at her.  "You are so beautiful..." he started, interrupted by a noise within the house.  "We never really are alone are we?"

"I wonder if the tree house is available," she smiled.

"You deserve better than this," he continued, his remorse evident.  "You deserve candles and roses...ocean surf outside an open window, breakfast in bed when you wake up in my arms."

Running her fingers across his lips and holding his head when she lifted hers up to kiss them, her eyes glistening in the dimly lit room she said all she needed to.  "I haven't said no to you yet have I?"

...And she hadn't.

* "I Could Not Ask for More" by Edwin McCain

*Part 20

Melissa woke before just before dawn, still wrapped in Hayden's arms.  Rubbing her nose gently against his, she tried to wake him up, but to no avail.  She rubbed her nose against his again, this time running her hand up under his t-shirt and across his baby soft skin.  When a smile crossed his face she knew it was working, and when he opened his eyes, the look that passed between them was electric.

"Morning beautiful," he said quickly noticing the room was still dark.  "It is morning isn't it?"

"Not yet, but it will be soon...come outside with me?"

"Sure..." There was no need to question, why they were going outside was of no bother to him.  Hayden would go anywhere for her or with her, just to be close to her was all he wanted.

They curled up together in the lawn chair they had shared two nights before, Melissa covering them up with a blanket she had brought from the bed.  "I thought we could watch the sunrise," she said.  "I do it whenever I can, but I'm usually alone."

"Well, you aren't now," he replied, pulling her tightly to him, holding her in silence.

"My Grampie told me once that sunrises are Mother Natures way of telling you that you still have more work to do," she said softly.  "I think they're more like hope.  Each sunrise brings a fresh start - new possibilities, new dreams."

"More work to do?" he questioned.  "You mean because you lived to see it, your job isn't done?"

"Pretty much."

Hayden slid his hands under Melissa's shirt, using his fingertips to lightly trace imaginary patterns across her stomach and waist.  The feeling soothed her and caused her to relax further into him. Obviously comfortable with the feeling, Hayden went a little further, guiding his long fingers under the band of her sweatpants, extending his pattern tracing over her hips and down each thigh.

Melissa hardly noticed how beautiful the sunrise was that morning with its hues of reds, yellows and golds.   She closed her eyes and tried to memorize the feel of Hayden's touch, brought back to reality only by his voice.

"What made you start watching sunrises?" he asked, his fingers still drawing across her.

"When I was little, we went camping and I wandered off..." Her tone dropping, she continued.  "I don't know how long I was gone, but I was scared and starting to cry when my Grampie showed up and led me back to the campsite.  I couldn't sleep that night, too scared I think, so I sat up and watched the sunrise.  Grampie was always up early, which is why he saw me I guess.  He never told me how he found me that day in the woods, just that I had a guardian angel with a poor sense of direction."  She couldn't help laughing at the memory

"Is that why you search?" he asked.  "So people wouldn't be scared like you were?"

"I think that's some of it," she said sounding as if she hadn't really thought about it too much.  "I've never forgotten how scary it was and how happy I was when Grampie found me.  He never told me how he did it, no matter how much I'd ask.  When Kona and I were starting the training program, I told him I did it to finally learn his secret.  He gave me a pin of a pair of angel wings.  He said he knew we'd make it and that pin would remind us that we had our own angel watching over us.  A few weeks later he died."

"I'm sorry..." he said, the sympathy in the simple words was evident to Melissa.

"It's ok," she turned to kiss him.  "He taught me so much...I guess his job here was done."  Feeling Hayden's arms tighten around her she added, "Kona wears the angel pin on her search vest and I like to think it's him that watches over us."

"I hope he closes his eyes about now," he grinned, running his hands around Melissa's stomach and whispering in her ear.  "What am I going to do when you aren't here?"

"Close your eyes and remember this," she said, turning to her side, her lips brushing across his while her hands moved through the soft curls of the back of his hair.  Leaning into his every touch, her head spinning from the growing intensity of their kisses, Melissa knew where her heart belonged.  Stopping suddenly, her eyes glistening, she ran her fingers down the side of his face and looked deep into his eyes.  "I never expected this," she muttered.  "I never expected the idea of leaving you to hurt so much."

A smile crossed Hayden's face, knowing in his heart what she was telling him and wanting to make her feel better somehow.  "I know beautiful...but we'll be together soon and one day, if you can put up with me, you won't leave."

Falling back into their passion, the couple never watched the rest of the sunrise.

*****

The family had awoken some time later, having smelled Hayden's pancakes down the hall.  Melissa and Kona had returned from a short jog, this time without Hayden, much to the amusement of his parents.  Before long it was time to load up the van and head to the airport.

Melissa's flight was close in departure time to that of Hayden's Aunt, so everyone decided to ride together.  Melissa and Hayden snuggled together in the very back seat, trying to get one last bit of time together.  He seemed to enjoy tormenting her with whispered plans for the beach vacation, a thought Melissa was rudely removed from by the sound of her beeper.

"Uh oh," she said looking at the number.  "That's never good."

"What was that?" came a query from the front seat.

"Sorry, it was my pager," she looked over at Hayden.  "Can you hand me my phone out of the backpack?"  He did and Melissa dialed the number on her display.  

"Hi Karen..." she started, the van getting the gist of the conversation despite only hearing one side of it.  "We're on our way to the airport, you want to tell me where we're going when we get there?"  There was a long pause while Karen spoke, Melissa jotting notes down on a small notepad.  "Ok," she sighed.  "We're on our way."

"You aren't going home, are you," Justin questioned, reading Hayden's mind.

"No, I'm not," was all she'd say, choosing instead to curl up in Hayden's arms, savoring the comfort and warmth for as long as she had it.

With the car parked, the group filed into the airport terminal.  Hayden never let go of Melissa's hand, while his mother noticed a new lack of color to her face.  Leaving Kona with Hayden, Melissa got checked in with the new reservations Karen had made for her and returned quickly to the gathered family.

"Where are you going?" Justin finally asked.  "What's happened?"

Looking up to a television monitor in the waiting area, Melissa pointed at the "Breaking News" on CNN, and their coverage of a derailed train in the Midwest.  "There," she said simply.

"Whoa," he gasped looking at the location of the accident.  "That looks bad.  How are you going to get to it?"

"Helicopter apparently.  Should be interesting, we've never done that before."

"Are you excited?" he asked, his childhood innocence taking over.

"Not when people are hurt," she said, placing her hand on his shoulder.  "I'd be more excited about taking a helicopter ride for fun."

Interrupted by attendant coming for Kona's crate and the first boarding call for their flight, Melissa started her farewells.  Justin and Megan were the first to hug her, followed by handshakes and thank yous from their parents.  Hayden's Mom gave her a hug and told her to come back soon which made her smile.  What really shocked her was Hayden's father, who also hugged her and told her to be careful.  She told him she would but when she looked at Hayden she had to fight back a giggle.  With confusion furrowing his brow, he was looking at his dad like he was an alien disguised to look like his father.

"Come on." He said gently, taking her hand. "I'll walk you to the gate."  It was a short walk but one taken slowly, holding on to each other and to their final time together.
"Promise me you'll be careful," he murmured into their last hug.

"Always," she grinned, pulling him into a kiss.  "I have a premier to attend with my new boyfriend."

"Do you now?" he joked with her.  "I hope he knows what a treasure he has and treats you to some romance on the beach before a shindig like that."

"I'm sure he'll take care of me," she kissed him again.

"Call me...let me know you're both ok," he asked.

"We will." Smiling into a last kiss she added, "Don't worry, it will go by faster than you think it will."

Hayden tried to smile, his heart crying for her to stay, knowing she couldn't.  He kissed her again before she walked toward the gate.  She turned one last time as she headed through the doors and saw him hold up his hand and move his fingers in the slightest of waves.  As she walked down the ramp toward the plane, she waved to him from behind her back; already dreaming of the next time they'd be together.

*****

Several hours later, Hayden found himself glued to the television.  The remainder of his family was gathered at his parent's house again and he knew he should be talking with them, but he was trying to catch a glimpse of Melissa and Kona on CNN.

"Have you seen her yet?" asked his mother as she sat down next to him on the couch.

"Not yet," he paused.  "But since you're here, can I ask you a question?"

"Anytime honey, you know that."

"Who was that man at the airport pretending to be Dad?  I mean really Mom, he hardly hugs us yet he grabbed Melissa without thinking."

Looking slightly confused, his mom asked a question that she had a sneaky suspicion she already knew the answer to.  "Have you watched that documentary she was in?"

"No, I haven't been able to find it and I don't want to ask her for it, the whole subject upsets her."

"The University Film School has a copy.  Your father and I went and saw it after the Oscars."

"What?"

"We saw a picture in a magazine of the two of you and when the University ran the movie, we decided to go see what she was all about."

"You were checking up on her?" he said, his voice raising, angered that his mom hadn't told him.

"We were watching out for you," she clarified.  "We wanted to know more about her."

"Next time just try ASKING me."

"We saw all we needed to in that movie and the way you treated each other this weekend, it was pretty obvious how you both feel."

"But Dad..."

"Your Dad and I are worried about her Hayden, as you should be.   Hasn't the University been asking you to come talk to the acting students?  You should go.  Ask them to show you the movie and you'll understand."

Hayden glanced at the television, just in time to see the rescue crews climbing out of the open military transport helicopters, quickly spotting Melissa and Kona.  "I think that's them," he pointed out to his mom. 

The two sat in silence, watching the updates on CNN, Hayden giving some serious thought to what his Mom had said.  He'd heard so much about the documentary, yet never seen it.  He wondered if Melissa would understand why he needed to and hoped it wouldn't upset her.  There wasn't a part of her he didn't want to know, including the part that she had such a hard time talking about.  He would call, he decided, and trust that her feelings for him ran deep enough to for her to understand.