Parts 23 & 24

"How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face..."
-W.B. Yeats

*Part 23

Sunrise at the camp was much calmer that next morning, Hayden waking to find Melissa in his arms.  She looked so peaceful and it was with great difficulty that he tried to reconcile the very different sides of this woman who had captured his heart.  Sliding quietly out of the truck, Kona waking to follow, he walked up toward the Hamilton's trailer.

"Good Morning Hayden, did you sleep well?" greeted Leigh.

"I did, thanks," he answered.  "Melissa is still out, but I thought I'd bring her some tea to help ease her into morning."

It was just the two of them at the moment and, being a protective mother, Leigh couldn't help but prod a bit.

"Are you ok with all of this?" she asked, motioning to the remnants of the camp.  "Does it bother you, the situations she puts herself in?  I know she's grown up with it, but it still gets to me sometimes."

"I'm not sure how to answer that," he replied, taking a seat at the table.  "A few months ago I would have said 'not at all' without even thinking, but the more I know about all of it, the more I worry."  He thought for a moment before continuing. "But each time I worry, I remember that what she does is a huge part of who she is, and that I adore her for who she is."

"You care about her a lot, don't you?" she asked.

"I do," he grinned in response.  "More than I can probably tell you."

"You don't have to say it dear, I can see it.  It's in the way you worry about her, the way your faces light up when you're together, it's about the little things that makes a mother smile."

"Little things?" he questioned.

"Like knowing she'd want tea, and being kind enough to take her some."

"I can't think of anything I wouldn't do for her," he said quietly but without reservation.

"I know," Leigh smiled handing him a cup of tea.  "Now why don't you go see if you can get her to wake up so she can enjoy her breakfast while it's hot."

Walking back slowly toward the truck and climbing in, he softly kissed Melissa's cheek and nuzzled her ear while he whispered to her that it was morning.  Groggy but smiling at the sound of his voice, she rolled over to see him holding the cup of tea.

"Oh, I could get used to this treatment," she laughed.

"Your mom is making breakfast, so it looks like I still owe you breakfast in bed."

"Don't think I won't take you up on that either," she grinned, leaning over to kiss him.  "Have I mentioned today that I'm really glad you're here?"

"Um...since you just woke up, I'd say that would have to be a no."

"Oh, ok, remind me of it later," she said laughing at her own joke.  "Good morning, by the way."

"It is now," he answered simply, returning her kiss.  "Do you have to go back home today?"

"No, I don't think so, why?"

"Well, I've never been here before, so I thought maybe we could stay a couple of days and you should show me around, spend some time together...just us."

"Time alone?  Now there is a novel concept," she giggled, "but I can't think of anything better.  Not sure where we would stay though, the lodge here usually books up in advance."

"That's actually taken care of...all you had to do was say yes."

"Now who is amazing who?"

Hayden never answered, taking the cup of tea from her hand and sitting it aside so he could pull her close to him and capture her lips into a loving kiss that told her everything she didn't have to ask.

*****

As the morning progressed the mountain fog rolled in, causing everything to be a little overcast and gray.  Hayden and Melissa said goodbye to her family and the remainder of the search team before heading to the Lodge and checking into the room Hayden had somehow secured.

"I can't believe you got a room here and that they'd let Kona stay," she mused, knowing that the Lodge normally didn't allow pets.

"Kona is a hero up here right now," he grinned.  "Besides, there are the occasional benefits to just being me."

"Oh really?" she joked, "and what do you consider the best benefit of just being you?"

"Having you beside me."

Melissa felt her face flush; his words so sincere that they caused her catch her breath.  Moving over to him taking his hand, she answered "Funny coincidence, but that just happens to be my favorite place."

"Then I guess you'll be spending a lot of time there then?" he grinned.

"Oh definitely," she added with a wink.

The two decided to take a walk around one of the many paths surrounding the lodge before changing for dinner.  As they strolled, they realized it was another first for them.  They had walked at the Oscars and around Disneyland, but never for such a long time without any distractions.  Everyone who passed by smiled at their antics and their fun.  When Melissa joked that she had done enough walking for a while, Hayden offered her a piggyback ride.  "After all," he smirked, "if you can do it, so can I."  It was while Hayden was carrying her down the path on his back and they were laughing so hard he couldn't walk straight, that an elderly couple stopped them.

"Excuse us?" they offered.  "We were wondering if you had a camera?"

"I have one," Melissa answered, "Did you want us to take a picture of you?"

"Oh no dearies," laughed the lady.  "But you two seem to be having so much fun, we thought we would take a picture of you, so you could remember this moment when you're our age."

"That's very kind of you," nodded Hayden.  "We would love that, but then I have GOT to put you down, I don't know how you did this."

Melissa handed the small camera to the couple, wrapped her arms around Hayden's neck and her legs around his waist, putting her cheek against his. They were still laughing when the picture snapped.  Handing the camera back to Melissa the older man added "We've had 65 great years together, I hope you two have the same."  With a wave, the couple continued on their way.

"That was so sweet," Melissa sighed as she slid off Hayden's back.  Turning to look behind them she could only stare at how beautiful the majestic mountains were.  Snow still capped the tops of the taller ones, waterfalls graced a few, the fog making it all seem surreal.  "Wow.  Now this is amazing.  I never get a chance to stop and enjoy how really beautiful it is here."

Hayden's mind was spinning; he still hadn't said anything that he had wanted to.  While Melissa looked at the mountains, he watched her, going over the thoughts in his head trying to organize them.  "It is beautiful, " he started, "but they have a long way to go until they compare to you."

Using her best southern drawl, she turned and rested her hands on his chest.  "Well, I do declare Mr. Christensen, I think you're trying to weasel your little ol' way into my heart."  One look into his eyes told her he wasn't finished and he wasn't joking.

Cupping her face in his hands he swallowed hard, hoping he was the only one who was noticing how fast his heart was racing.  His eyes wore a mix of honesty and panic at the words he was trying to get his lips to say, he so wanted everything to be perfect.

"It's ok, you know," her words relaxing him.  "It's just me, you can tell me anything."

"I love you," he said simply.  "With every fiber of my very existence...I love you.  Everything about you makes me love you more, when I see you or touch you, when I hear you laugh, when I see you smile..." He took a deep breath and looked down at the ground, his tone suddenly turning apologetic.  "I wanted to make this so perfect for you, to give you everything you could ever dream of..."

"Shhh," she said softly, lifting his chin up until his eyes met hers again, misty with unshed tears.  "You have.  Everything I've ever dreamed of is what I have with you.  I love that you try and take care of me, I hate when I make you worry, and I'll never be able to tell you how much it means to me that you're here.  I love that when I hold your hand, I feel alive.  I love that I get lost in your eyes.  I love that the world disappears when you hold me in your arms."

Now it was his turn to have misty eyes, knowing she was sincere in her confessions.  He felt her hand press against his face, her thumb gently caressing his cheek.  "I love you so much," she said with relief filling her voice.  Finally, they had said what they had always known.

Hayden stepped closer to Melissa, their bodies so close that she could feel the pounding of his heart against hers.  As he bent down to kiss her, she leaned up to meet him, their lips joining with a newfound passion.  All the pent up emotion channeling through to that first confessional kiss, the barriers brought down with three simple words.

"I love you," he muttered through his breathlessness, "I can't believe how good it feels to finally say that to you."  As he returned his lips to hers, they felt raindrops start to fall.

"The angels are happy for us," Melissa smiled.  "They're crying."

"How about you?" he asked, his hands still holding her head.

"If they're half as happy as I am, we're going to get soaked," she laughed, looking up at the sky.  Hayden looked up as well, but merely shrugged his shoulders and went back to kissing her, the rain falling more steadily upon them.

It was Kona who had finally had enough rain and pestered them until they began walking again.  With their arms wrapped around each other they made their way back to their room at the lodge.  Arriving completely drenched, as suspected, Melissa handed a towel to Hayden and began drying off Kona.  Content once she was mostly dry, Kona found her travel crate and curled up inside and fell asleep.

Melissa had started to pat her own hair dry when Hayden came up behind her and started blotting it with his own towel.  Moving her hair aside, he leaned over and placed small kisses on the back of her neck.  Feeling her tip back against him, he dropped the towel and wrapped his arms around her waist under her wet sweater, moving his fingertips lightly over her damp skin. 

Reaching behind her, Melissa ran her hands along the wet material covering his thighs.   She closed her eyes, lost in his touch, wanting only to be with him.  Encouraged by her actions, Hayden kissed a trail to her ear, sucking on it gently while his hands explored her body.  Never before had Melissa been treated so sensually and her body was starting weaken from the attention.

His technique slow and deliberate, Hayden carefully pulled her wet sweater up and over her head, taking his lips off her shoulders only long enough for the material to pass by.  She felt his warm breathe on her neck and shoulders as he kissed her, deftly unclasping her bra and letting it drop to the floor, it's place soon taken by his tender hands.  She simply couldn't stand it any longer, turning around to face him, the briefest of eye contact resulting in a kiss that enveloped her.  Pulling away from him only long enough to remove his shirt with the same care as he had shown her, their lips were drawn back together like magnets.

Hayden had never felt so much emotion, he could think of only showing her how much he loved her, of making their love come alive.  Breaking their kiss, he stared deep into her eyes, reading the script of her soul, learning what she needed and wanted.  Scooping her up in his arms and laying her down gently on the bed, he took his place beside her, each helping the other out of the remainder of their clothes. 

As his fingers traveled around her body and his lips lovingly sucked on her breasts, Melissa arched into his touch, her head spinning as he explored every part of her.  Feeling herself slipping away, she rolled on top of Hayden and began returning the attention, kissing her way slowly down his body.  When she continued the kisses down his erection, a devilish smile crossed her face as she felt him stiffen and a moan escape his lips.  Now it was his turn to begin slipping away, but for now he was powerless to her and waited as her lips worked their way back up to his. 

This was the moment his parents had always tried to tell him about, the moment when you know that you are so in love with someone that the only thing you can think of is being so close to them that you actually become one.  He knew he had never seen such a wanton expression as the one Melissa wore and, quite certain it reflected his own, he guided her onto her back, resting his body fully against hers, his stiffness pressed between them.

Melissa's body was on fire, there wasn't an inch of her skin that didn't yearn for his touch, not a part that didn't want him inside her.  Every flick of his tongue pushed her closer to an uncontrollable edge, each warm exhale fanning her desires.  She felt him push up slightly, his eyes pleading to look into hers, but the moment they met the reaction of their bodies was too much to contain.  Hayden slid into her with ease, her body seemingly craving his. 

For that moment, everything was perfect and they were as they should be, joined as one.  There were no awkward moments, no inhibitions to get in the way.  While both had been with others, for the first time in their lives they truly understood what it meant to make love.  Each touch magnified by their feelings, both wanting nothing more than for time to stop so they could remain like this forever.  Their bodies, however, had other ideas and the intensity for both was becoming more than they could manage.

Not stopping the rhythm they had found with each other, Hayden saw in her eyes that she was in the same place he was.  Leaning down and capturing her lips in his again, he felt her body surrender, pulsing around him, driving his over it's own edge.  Tightening her fingers in his hair, Melissa's world exploded, stars filling her vision as her body trembled under the power of her orgasm. 

Resting his head on her chest as they tried to begin breathing again, Melissa brushed away the sweaty hairs on Hayden's forehead, kissing away the moisture.  Wrapping her arms around him, desperate to prolong the moment, she wondered if life could get any better than it was right then.

Pushing himself up to look at her, Hayden struggled with his own thoughts.  "I love you so much," he whispered, "stay with me always." 

"As long as you'll let me," she grinned, wondering if he'd remember saying the same thing to her in the tree house at Disneyland.

"It might be a pretty long while," he answered, one corner of his mouth rising into a sly smile, wondering if she would complete the exchange.

"That's what I'm hoping for," she finished, putting her hand over his heart.  "After all, I need to stay close to my heart."

"Nice to know I still have it."

"Oh, more than ever..."

Lying together, a sheet covered them as they rested.  They dreamed of things to come, of the 65 years that the elderly couple had wished for them earlier that day.  One thing was certain, if Melissa and Hayden were involved, it would certainly be an adventure.

*Part 24

Hayden awoke the next morning with Melissa's body spooned into him.  Her face glowing with contentment even in sleep, he did his best not to wake her as he climbed out of bed.   Tossing on some sweats, he slipped quietly out of the room.  Returning soon after with a cup of hot tea and a single rose that he motioned slowly beneath her nose.

The sweet scent was a gentle alarm for Melissa, a smile lighting her face as she opened her eyes to see Hayden propped up on his elbow next to her.

"Good morning beautiful," he smiled.  "Have I told you today that I am hopelessly in love with you?"

"Let me think on that for a minute," she teased.  "Hmmm...no, I can't say that you have."

"Oh no!" he feigned briefly before leaning forward and kissing her.  Gazing into her eyes, he wiped all joking aside as he whispered to her "I will spend the rest of my life wondering what I did to deserve to have you in it."

"Funny, I was thinking the exact same thing," she offered.  "So...what do you want to do today?"

"Oh, that's a pretty opened ended question," he smirked. 

"We have to be together."

"So many possibilities," he grinned, handing her the cup of steaming tea.  "How about breakfast first and then we'll just see where the day takes us?"

"Perfect."

"...for us anyway," he finished.

That day and the ones that followed became a blur for the young couple.  They took long strolls through the mountain paths, enjoying the sunshine and each other before driving back to the house Melissa shared with Beth.  Never seeming to spend more than a few nights at a time anywhere together, they began to joke that they were destined to become vagabonds

The time spent at home would be no different.  They managed dinner out with Beth and Eric, who seemed to be attracted to each other, all the while trying to ignore it.  Hayden couldn't help but wonder about the relationship they had.  His mind drifted off soon after, reminding him of great things to come.  He had rented a cottage on the beach for he and Melissa to relax in for a few days on their way to the premiere in Los Angeles.  With a long drive in front of him, he opted for some sleep while Beth helped Melissa unpack from the mountains and repack again.

The girls ended up staying up most of the night talking.  Now that Hayden often occupied Melissa's extra time, she felt like she had been neglecting Beth and her life.  Like Hayden, she noticed some chemistry between her brother and Beth over dinner and wanted to know more.

"Bethy..." she whined, "tell me, you know you want to."

"There is nothing to tell Missy," she laughed in return, knowing that no one ever called Melissa by her old nickname.

"Ouch!  We've resorted to Missy huh?  Ok...well, just know that if there was anything between you and my dork brother, I would think it was great."

"Are you trying to change the subject?" Beth grinned.  "After all, we were talking about your love life, not mine."

Melissa took the hint and dropped the subject for now, but she was determined to get back to it eventually.  Letting Beth off easy wasn't something she let happen often.  The duo finished packing and said their goodbyes.  Beth had early duty at the hospital the next day and wouldn't be there to see them off.  Joining Hayden in bed, Melissa spooned in behind him.  Relaxed by the warmth of his body, she soon fell fast asleep.

The drive toward southern California the next day was spent talking and enjoying listening to music.  There didn't seem to be anything they didn't want to do together, even learning that they enjoyed the same types of music.  Melissa did notice that Hayden seemed distracted from time to time and had set her mind at ease by convincing herself it was merely anxiety over the film release.

The beach cottage was beautiful, small and cozy with a large picture window that overlooked the beach and a patio to relax on.  Working together in the kitchen, they put dinner in the oven before pouring a glass of wine and taking Kona for a walk down the beach.  Holding hands as the surf gently washed over their feet, they sipped their wine while they strolled.  Kona was unaware that she was providing their entertainment as she tried unsuccessfully to sneak up on the all-to-cautious seagulls.

Out of the corner of her eye, Melissa saw that look of distraction in Hayden's face again.  The way his eyes squinted and his eyebrows furrowed gave him away.  She couldn't pawn it off as the premiere any more, but she still wasn't sure what was weighing so heavy on his mind.  She would catch a glimpse of it again over dinner and by the time they had assumed their favorite position in a chair on the patio at sunset, she was worried.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, determined to get an answer before it interfered with their time together.

"What?" Hayden gasped in surprise, shifting to one side so that he could look at her.  "Why would you say that?"

"Something is bothering you.  I tried to pawn it off earlier as nerves over the premiere, but my heart tells me it's more than that."

Hayden sighed deeply and looked out on the ocean, finding a peace in the reflections of the setting sun on the surf.  "I'm so sorry beautiful.  I do have a lot on my mind, but I promise you that it's not because you did anything wrong." He kissed her softly on the cheek and added, "quite the opposite actually."

"You think I do everything right?" she laughed slightly and moving her hands over, she laced her fingers through his.  "Do you remember when Kona and I went to Oregon and I didn't think to let you know we were leaving?"

"Yeah," he laughed slightly, "you scared me.  I thought I had done something..."

"Something wrong," she finished.  Hayden was quiet, remembering how bad he felt then, feeling worse that he was making her feel that way now.  "Do you remember the deal we made?"

"We were never going to keep anything from each other again..." There was no one that he felt more comfortable with than Melissa and he knew that he needed to talk with her, but he wasn't exactly sure how to start.

"I can't promise that I can help, but I can promise that I'll listen," she whispered.

"There isn't anything that I don't love about you," he said with a sigh.  "All that you are, all that you do...you could have anyone..."

Melissa was starting to catch on to his worries, because she shared them.  "I know the feeling," she assured him.  "I worry about the same thing.  The world is full of women who would do anything to be with you, yet, you're here with me."

"Being an actor isn't anything like what you did in New York..." He caught himself, but it was too late. 

"OK, I think I'm starting to understand now," she sighed, her voice low and laced with hurt.  "You saw the documentary didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did."

"...and you couldn't just tell me that?"

"I wanted to, but I kept trying to find a way to tell you without it upsetting you."  He relaxed a bit when he heard her laugh slightly.

"So, are you going to tell me why this has your mind so occupied?"

"I thought I was prepared when I walked into the screening room.  I knew the movie upset you.  I remember the clips from the Globes and the Oscars, and the things you told Justin.  I'd watched CNN nonstop until you were on your way home from that train accident, I thought I understood - but it still caught me completely off guard."  Melissa just held tight to his hands and let him talk. 

"When I saw the situations that you and Kona were in, the dangers that you faced, everything that was placed on you emotionally and how you handled it.  I found myself as terrified as I have ever been, not just for you but, at the thought that I could have lost you.  I sat there numb from shock merely having watched and yet, you lived it and managed to keep going."

"Keeping going is part of life my love," she said, angling her head so she could see his face. 

"What kind of life do you want beautiful?"

"Not to sound too bold but, what I really want is one with you in it.  I do need to fill you in on a couple little tidbits first that will, hopefully, help set your mind at ease."  He responded by pulling her closer into his body, almost as if trying to protect her from her own words.  "If you remember nothing else about me, remember two things.  One is that despite my reactions to that movie, I'm proud of it and of the work it displays, and the other is that I have never loved anyone as much as I love you."

Hayden interrupted her briefly to softly kiss her lips and add a simple, "that feeling is very mutual," before letting her continue.

"I did live all that you saw and I did keep going, but did you notice a pattern forming?  Between the movie and the train derailment, even the rescue in Yosemite?"

He ran through the images in his head, trying to find a common thread.  "You were professional, determined, supportive and positive, but..." A flash of comprehension came to him.  "I have never seen you cry.  I couldn't stop crying when I watched that movie, but I never saw you shed a single tear."

"Exactly," she sighed.  "I did once in New York, it was early on and I was overwhelmed - no one saw, it was just Kona and I.  She licked my tears away and that was that.  We went back to work.  I haven't cried since...for anything or anyone."

"Oh beautiful... why?"

"Because I'm afraid that once they start, they won't stop and there are few things worse than crying by yourself.  You think I do everything right, that what you do isn't as important, but you couldn't be more wrong.  Do you have any idea how powerful your work is?  Do you remember what it was like to be able to go sit in a movie theater with your tub of popcorn and completely forget all your problems because for two hours you can be the hero who saves the world, or the leading lady swept off her feet by a dashing leading man?  Because of what you do, millions of people get to do just that.  What a gift to be able to make that possible."

"You really are perfect," he said, his smile evident in his tone.

"There are no perfect people, love, only people perfect for each other."

Turning her head to meet his, he kissed her once more, a deep lingering kiss that left her skin hot and her head spinning.  "You mean like us?"

"Exactly like us," she whispered, kissing him in return, running her fingers up through his hair.  "What am I going to do with myself when this week is over and real life jumps back into my face?"

"Has the idea of being apart again been bothering you as much as it has me?"

"If that answer is a lot - yes," she sighed.  "If I hadn't been paged away, I'm not entirely sure I would have actually gotten on that airplane after your birthday."

"That's ok, I'm not sure I would have let you go...how wonderful that, at least for now, I don't have to."

Melissa wanted to tell him that she never wanted him to let her go - that everything seemed so right when they were together and she didn't want that to end.  She fought the urge to tell him she would go anywhere to be with him, knowing that even though it sounded desperate, nothing had ever been truer.  Common sense took over and told her to wait and be patient, that it wasn't the time or place for that now.  She still wasn't sure he could handle living with her lifestyle anymore than she was sure she could handle living in his. 

Pushing the worry from her mind, she kissed each of Hayden's long fingers, still laced through her own.  He responded with nibbles on her ear, which, he was learning, was a weakness for her.  Once again lost in each other's touch, they retired for the night with Hayden no longer distracted by anything other than simply being with Melissa.