Parts 25 & 26

"How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face..."
-W.B. Yeats

*Part 25

Melissa loved the beach nearly as much as she loved the mountains, and having spent time with Hayden in both, she found herself happier and more relaxed than she ever remembered being.  It was with regret that they had to bid farewell to their carefree days at the cottage.  Hayden had press interviews to do before the premiere.  Frequent voicemails from his brother and his agent showed his schedule filling fast.  After taking one last stroll along the beach, they loaded Kona into the truck and started their drive.

They arrived later that afternoon at Hayden's house; a Spanish villa styled home nestled in the hills above Hollywood.  Leaving Hayden to bring in their limited bags and listen to his messages, Melissa marched Kona outside for a much needed bath.  Wet dog and sea smells don't make for a pleasant odor and it was one that she didn't care to smell inside the house.

While Kona warmed herself on the flagstone patio, Melissa was finally able to get a tour of Hayden's home away from home.  With its dual master suites, 4 additional bedrooms plus an office, it still struck her as nicely simple.  The rooms were immaculately kept, but not poshly decorated, it reminded her a lot of his parents home in Toronto.  There was a large entertainment room in the center of the house.  Obviously a room intended for friendly gatherings, it held a big screen television and entertainment center with surround sound. 

One room, in particular, stood out to her and that was Hayden's bedroom.  Filled with light cherry wood furniture that was perfectly accented by light streaming in from the French patio doors.  A classic style iron headboard adorned a king size bed, layered with pillows and an overstuffed comforter.  Everywhere you looked in the room you saw a set of unburned candles, some on iron stands, some floating in glass bowls, some sitting on simple round bases.  It struck her as undoubtedly all Hayden...simple romantic.

"We could have just stayed here," she said as they walked back through the rooms.  "I bet the sunsets off that patio are incredible."

"But what would Kona have done without the seagulls?" he mused.  "Besides, I tend to get 'found' here.  Tove and Kaylen will arrive tonight and thus begins the chaos."

"Well...what should we do until they arrive?" she asked, pressing up against him and putting her arms around his neck.  "A backrub perhaps?"

"I had something else in mind actually," he said as he swept her into his arms.  "Care to guess?"

"What do I get if I guess correctly?"

"Same thing you would if you guessed incorrectly," he laughed.  "Me."

The smile brightening on her face and her arms still holding tightly to his neck, she answered first with a kiss.  "Sounds like my kind of a prize."

Sharing lingering kisses, Hayden carried his favorite prize to his bed, resting her softly onto the comforter that covered it.  "Don't go anywhere," he teased, knowing that wasn't a worry.  Melissa followed him with her eyes as he rotated the wood blinds to block the setting sun and lit the scented candles throughout his room.

"A room built for romance," she mused as he joined her on the bed.

"Built for but never used...until now anyway.  Romance can only be truly romantic with the right person."  Reaching over to run the backs of his fingers against her cheek he added, "and no one is more right than you."

"How do you always say what I'm thinking," she whispered.  Moving closer to him, she ran her hand up under his shirt, feeling how hot his skin was to her touch.

"I love you."

"See," she grinned as he kissed the tip of her nose.  "There you go again."

"Guilty," he confessed as he rested himself on top of her.  "There I go again..."

*****

Perfectly content to stay in bed and in each other's arms, Kona and her unrelenting demands for dinner pushed them back into real life.  Always the gentleman, Hayden offered to feed Kona and fix them something for dinner while Melissa showered.  She returned the favor by cleaning up the kitchen after dinner while he did the same.

The night was clear, so the couple took Kona for a walk down the hill to a small ice cream shop for hot fudge sundaes.  Briefly interrupted by a cell phone call from Hayden's agent, Melissa was able to piece together that there was another addition to his schedule and that he wasn't too thrilled with it based on the expression on his face.

She tried to steer clear of his press commitments, figuring that he would tell her the important stuff, but something is his eyes caught her attention this time.  "Schedule change?" 

"I just keeps getting crazier," he tried to laugh.  "That was my agent telling me I'm scheduled for an east coast press tour."

"East Coast?  When?"

"Monday." She watched his face fall further when he answered.  "That means I fly out Sunday."

The calculations were instant in her mind, if he left on Sunday that would give them just 3 more days together.  They hadn't talked about what they would do when the weekend was over, both avoiding the subject now staring them in the face.  Melissa could only pick at her sundae, dreading the thought of not being with Hayden.

Sliding his chair closer to hers, he rested his forehead against her temple and laid her spoon aside to hold her hand.  "Come with me," he offered.  "I can't let you go...not yet."

With her heart soaring at his proposal, she tried to remain levelheaded and think it through.  "How long are you going to be gone?"

"They're usually only a few days, talk shows mostly, but..."

"Uh oh," she said looking over at him.  "But what?"

"East coast in this case is New York."

Melissa felt his grip on her hand tighten, timed exactly with the skip that her heart took.  "Oh love, I don't think I..."

"I'll be with you," his voice low and encouraging, "and if you start to cry, you won't have to cry alone."

"What about work?  I've been gone over a week already."  Her excuses were thin since she knew that Hayden was fully aware that her schedule was a flexible one.

"Didn't you say that your office was closing for spring break this month sometime?  What week is that?"

"Not exactly spring break," she laughed.  "The doctors are going to a conference, but I don't remember when it is and my date book is at the house.  Really though, I'm not sure I'm up to this...not there."

"We can go anywhere you want to go and avoid the places you aren't ready for.  I'll promise you that.  Please, just think about it before you say no.  I'll have my agent book me into places that Kona can stay... just in case you say yes."

"I will think about it," she smiled, loving that he never seemed to consider leaving Kona behind in anything they planned together.  She could only giggle at his excited mutterings during the walk home, theorizing where they could leave from, how they'd get back, and what they should pack.  She really wasn't sure she could handle this trip, but she decided to leave it to fate.  If that was the week the hospital was closed, she would go - if not, she'd put Hayden on the plane Sunday and miss him until he returned.

Back at the house Tove and Kaylen, who had arrived at some point while they were gone, greeted them.  Hayden filled Tove in on the latest schedule changes and couldn't help but add in that Melissa was 'considering' going with him.  Resigned to the fact that his cute pestering wouldn't let up until he had a definite yes or no, she found her backpack and grabbed her date book.

It was the first time that Hayden wasn't able to read her face.  She seemed to be both happy and disappointed at the same time as she closed her date book.  "The office is, in fact, closed next week," she stated in an even tone.

Hayden was ecstatic, practically jumping around the kitchen.  "Alright!  So you can go!  This is going to be great!"  It took Tove tapping him on the shoulder and motioning toward Melissa before he realized that she didn't share his enthusiasm.  "Beautiful?  Are you all right?  You do want to go with me, don't you?"

Tove and Kaylen excused themselves by telling the couple they were turning in for the night, a convenient way to leave them alone to talk. 

"I do want to go Hayden...after spending so much time with you, the idea of not being with you scares me more than anything.  I'm just not sure I can do it all."

"Do all of what?  All you really have to do is just be you, that's all I care about."

"If I'm with you at all your interviews, I'm going to be looked at and judged.  I can handle that here, but in New York, I can't promise that I can hold myself together.  I just don't know how I'm going to feel even just being in the city again." 

The quiver in her voice shot right to Hayden's heart.  It wasn't herself that she was concerned with, it was that she might embarrass him and that was a fear he could put to rest.  "You asked me at the cottage to remember two things about you, and one of those things was that you had never loved anyone as much as you loved me, right?"

Melissa nodded.  "You said it was 'very mutual.'"

"I meant that...but I want you to remember one thing about me in return, ok?  I have faith in you and I believe you can do anything that you set your mind to...but I want you to do one thing."

"What's that?"

"Lean on me...trust that I'll take care of you.  Can you do that for me?"

Melissa had long dreamed of hearing those words, always being 'the strong one' was a heavy burden to bear, but one that she had grown used to.  She swallowed hard and fought the urge to pinch herself, wondering what she had done to land in the middle of this amazing dream.  "I do trust you.  You'll have to teach me how to lean, but know that if I were going to lean on anyone, it will always be you."

"Glad to hear it," he smiled as he kissed her.  "It really will be ok, I promise.  For now, it's getting late and we have a busy day tomorrow.  Ready to get some sleep?"

"Very, especially with you to curl up with."

As Hayden took her hand and led her to bed, all worries left her mind for the night.  His arms holding her and the feel of his fingers smoothing her hair as she rested her head on the pillow washed away her fears.  There was no doubt that she loved this man enough to do anything for him...even if that meant returning to the one place she had hoped never to see again.

*Part 26

Hayden's dreams that night were filled with ideal situations and happy endings, his mind planning each moment of the trip to New York that he was to take with Melissa.  They would tour the city together and he would spoil her at every turn.  Ideally she would leave with happy memories to focus on instead of the ones she carried with her now.  Even in his dreams he yearned to help her, to make everything right.

Caught up in his fantasies he barely heard the beeping from Melissa's pager or felt her slip out of his arms and from the room they shared.   It wasn't until he moved his leg in search of hers that he awoke to find himself alone.  Rubbing his eyes, he worked to wake up, trying to determine where his dreams stopped and real life began.

Melissa stood in Hayden's office, the room dimly lit by a small desk lamp.  Staring at her pager displaying the number she had just dialed, the all to familiar one belonging to Karen.  When the pager had gone off she knew it had to be important, as the search teams coordinator, Karen was well aware of where Melissa was and who she was with.  Just as Karen answered, Melissa felt Hayden's hands on her waist and his lips pressing slightly on her cheek.  Resting his head on her shoulder, Hayden watched as she scribbled notes on a small notepad.  Leaning her head against his, she questioned Karen.  "Doesn't L.A. County have a wilderness dog?"

"Go," Hayden whispered in her ear, somehow understanding her conflict.  "If you can help, you should go."

She could only smile at him and his eagerness to accept the crazy life that she led.  Getting the rest of the details before hanging up, Karen promised to fax over directions for Melissa.  Hayden disappeared while she put on her jeans and search jacket, reappearing again just as she picked up Kona's vest.

"Let's go to work," she told Kona, the dog's head bolting up in eager response.  Hayden walked them out, grabbing the directions from the fax machine.  Kona jumped into the truck, Melissa climbing in after.

"You'll need these," Hayden laughed, handing her the directions and a travel mug full of tea.

"I'm nominating you for sainthood," she replied with a kiss, clutching onto the warm mug.  "Thank you for taking care of me."

"Pleasure is all mine beautiful.  Call my phone when you're done - Kaylen will have it with her if I don't.  Promise you'll be careful..."

"This one is pretty cut and dry - accident victim wandered away from the scene, probably disoriented, but L.A.'s wilderness dog is out of range."

"You didn't promise," he prompted.

"I promise and I'll be back soon" and with another kiss, she drove off.

*****

Hayden considered press junkets a necessary evil of the business.  Most of his day had been spent talking to more interviewers than he cared to count; answering all of the same questions about the movie and about the character he played.  He had given his phone to Kaylen so she could take Melissa's call, but it was now after lunch and still no word from her.  To take his mind off his worries, he would watch Tove navigate the press.  As a producer on the film they wanted to talk to him as well, which made him nervous.

As yet another interview was ending, Hayden was relieved to see Kaylen answer his phone, leaving the room soon after.  She hadn't returned by the time the next interview had started, coming back in just as it was ending.  To his even greater relief, Melissa and Kona came in behind her, apparently straight from the accident scene.

Finishing up the interview, Hayden couldn't get to her fast enough, kissing her before anything else.  "You are a sight for sore eyes...is everything all right?"

"You bet!" she laughed.  "Sorry I'm sporting the grunge look, but I had to drive right past here and Kaylen thought it would be a good idea if I came in.  I tried to tell her I should change first."

"Nah - you look fantastic. I have no idea how much longer I'll be.  You must be hungry by now.  They have snack foods around the corner and comfy chairs to watch from."

"I get to sit, eat, AND watch you?  Sounds ideal," she grinned.

With eyes shining with pride, she watched Hayden handle the press.  Obviously proud of his work and of the movie, each interview went smoother than the last.  It wasn't until he sat down with the folks from Entertainment Tonight that anyone bothered to ask him about something besides Star Wars and his new film.  Much to Melissa's surprise, when it happened, the question was regarding his current relationship status.

"Happily attached," he had blushed in response, always rather shy about his personal life.  Managing to keep his answers vague, he simply said she wasn't in the business of making movies and let it go at that.  Whenever he was asked something that made him uncomfortable to answer, Melissa begin to notice how he would stammer slightly and look down at his boots.

Not long after, the interviews concluded for the day and the exhausted group made their way back to the house.  Cleaned up and out to dinner, Kaylen was the only one that still had energy.  The press had left Tove and Hayden exhausted and Melissa had been up since before dawn.  It didn't take them long to expel what remaining energy they had, so they cut the evening short and opted for an early night.

Curled up together in bed, almost lost under the overstuffed comforter, Hayden ran his hand up Melissa's leg and under her nightshirt.  He loved the smoothness of her stomach against his hand and how he could feel her skin grow warmer under his touch.  "Lissa?  I have to ask you something."

"This doesn't sound good.  You never call me Lissa unless you're worried," she replied, bringing her hand over to cover his.  "What is it?"

"I wasn't really expecting questions about us today, but we should talk about tomorrow.  It's bound to come up and I need to know what you want to stay between us.  Just because my life is public domain, doesn't mean that yours has to be as well."  They both knew he was scheduled to be a guest on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno the next day, and that Jay had a flare for being nosey.

Melissa thought for a moment.  "I watched you today," she said, "and you were fantastic.  Even when you were asked questions that you weren't expecting, your answers were professional and appropriate.  I don't want to give you limits that you have to worry about.  Say what you think is right and what is in your heart.  I trust you."

"Interesting time to start trusting me," he smirked, "but I'm glad, I just don't want to let you down."

"You won't," her confidence in him apparent.  "Falling in love wasn't our choice - it just happened, but being together is our choice.  If you can live with my crazy life, I'm certainly going to try and live in yours."

Pulling himself even closer to her, he laced her neck with delicate kisses.  "Do you know how happy I am that you were there today and that you'll be there tomorrow?  I love that I can catch glimpses of you during interviews.  I hope that Kona does OK with the seating in the studio audience, though. 

"I had planned on leaving her here," Melissa questioned.  "I'm sure she'd be fine."

"She probably would, but I'd feel better if she went.  I can't be with you all the time and I know when she is that someone is taking care of you."

"We take care of each other," Melissa yawned.  "It's quite a job."

"Settled then?" he asked.  "She goes?"

"Yeah, she can go.  If nothing else, I can worry about her instead of how tired you look because we stayed up all night talking."

"Point taken.  Sleep well beautiful...tomorrow is another day."  He wasn't sure she had heard him.  Looking down to kiss her goodnight, he found her fast asleep. 

*****

Hayden needed to be at the NBC Studios by 10am to get ready to tape the show.  As the limo turned a corner downtown Melissa heard the screaming begin.  Lining the street was a mass of people waiting to get inside, some of them carrying signs proclaiming their love for Hayden, some even containing marriage proposals.  Melissa's favorite was one that Tove had spotted that said simply 'Take me to a Galaxy Far Away!'  Though not terribly original, it still made her laugh.

The screams grew louder as Tove and Hayden left the limo first, helping Melissa and Kaylen out before starting the longest 20 yards imaginable.  It was only a short walk to the studios back entrance, but it was lined with fans.  Kaylen hung back with Melissa and an unusually calm Kona while the brothers stopped for autographs and posed for pictures. 

"Do you think you'll ever get used to this?" Kaylen asked, smiling at Melissa's simple shrug in response.

The Tonight Show staff helped them get in the door and into the Green Room while Hayden went into makeup.  Possibly his least favorite part of his job, he tried to avoid it whenever he could.  Roaming around backstage were crew people and the other guests for the show, actress Molly Shannon and a stand up comedian Melissa and Kaylen had never heard of.  After meeting with Jay briefly, Hayden returned just as the trio was leaving for their seats in the audience.  Wishing him luck with a kiss, Melissa added, "You'll be great" as she turned to walk away.

"You really trust me?" he grinned, recalling their late night talk. 

Looking back over her shoulder as she reached the door she said simply, "I do."  Not wanting to embarrass him in front of strangers, she finished by mouthing, "love you," accepting the twinkle in his eye as his response.

Slipping into their front row seats as the lights dimmed, Kona seemed quite comfortable lying on the floor using Melissa's foot as a pillow.  It was her first time at a television taping and she really wasn't paying attention to anything - just biding her time until Hayden came on.  He was the second guest, set to follow the unknown comic, and when Jay finally introduced him, the studio went ballistic.

The lead off topic for him ended up being Star Wars news.  Hayden assured Jay that he hadn't seen the script yet, so he really didn't know anything other than he started work in a couple of months.  Following the same path, Jay talked about the 'family' presentation of the Academy Award to George, showing a picture of Hayden, Natalie, Mark and Carrie onstage.

"I was really nervous before we did that," Hayden laughed.

"If this is nervous, sign me up!" Jay smirked, producing a picture of Hayden and Melissa that was taken as part of the red carpet arrivals, both wearing carefree smiles.

"No no no..." he grinned, "that part was great.  I didn't get nervous until we went on stage.  I grew up watching the original trilogy, it was surreal to me that I was standing there with Luke and Leia."

"Excellent diversion, but I'm sure single women everywhere want to know who this lovely lady is, since you keep turning up together."  Flipping down the Oscar picture, Jay's crew had managed to find pictures of their post Golden Globe dance and even one of them together at the Toronto hockey game.

"Wow!" he smiled, leaning closer to the second picture.  "I haven't seen that one!  That was for my birthday..."

"Are those kids yours?" Jay continued to laugh.

"Nah, those are my cousins," he said simply, still looking at the picture recalling the fun they had had that weekend.

"...and she is," Jay prompted, pointing to Melissa in the picture.

"My girlfriend," his blushing cheeks matching the ones Melissa was sporting in the audience.  The flush only deepening when the audience responded with a romantic "awwww."

"This is no ordinary girlfriend," Jay started, interrupted by Hayden.

"There is nothing ordinary about Melissa, no."

"When she's not looking like this," he said flipping back to the Oscar picture, "she looks like this..." The picture that he flipped over caused Melissa to gasp under her breath.  It was one of her and Kona at Ground Zero, apparently a screen capture from 'Silent Heroes.'

Hayden glanced over at her before turning serious with Jay.  "That's her - beautiful inside and out."  This was one subject he wasn't going to let Jay joke about.  "She's a member of a K-9 Search and Rescue team and that's her with her partner, Kona."

"With either version be attending the premiere tomorrow?" he chuckled.

"Um, yeah...the one that would go right about here," he said, motioning his hand between the Golden Globe picture and the hockey game picture.

Much to Melissa's relief, Jay took that segway to break into talk about 'Shattered Glass' and it's premiere the next day.  Handling those questions was easy for Hayden and he proudly introduced the clip as the segment ended.

Melissa breathed easier through the rest of the show, even relaxing enough to begin laughing at Molly Shannon's peculiar sense of humor.  When the show ended she couldn't have been more relieved.  There would be no more speculation in the press, he had admitted to having a girlfriend, now it was just a matter of how that was taken and twisted around.  The press could be brutal and she suddenly found herself very nervous.  The last thing she wanted to do was create a backlash of unfavorable press for Hayden.

Finding her as soon as they walked backstage, Hayden stood in front of her.  He rested his hands on her shoulders and lightly caressed them.  "Uncomfortable yet?" he smirked, the Oscar picture having caused him to remember their day at Disneyland.

"Hanging in for now," she forced a chuckle, "but please don't hesitate to keep checking." 

The worries that were paramount in her mind just moments before were silenced the moment he touched her, vanishing completely when his lips met hers in a delicate kiss.  Her own thoughts venturing back to Disneyland, realizing that life was, indeed, a roller coaster.  Sometimes scary, but usually exciting and knowing above all else that she would enjoy the ride because Hayden's arms would be there to hold her through it.