Parts 39 & 40

"How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face..."
-W.B. Yeats

*Part 39

Karen's calls over the broadcast band had alerted the other team members to the lack of Melissa's response.  Converging on the area with Hayden and Eric the dogs were quick to work, looking for the scent of their lost friends.  It seemed like time was moving so slowly that it had nearly stopped when their radios picked up a response.

"This is Search 2," was all they heard before the cheering began, muffling the words that followed.

"Melissa, are you ok?" Karen replied breaking radio protocol.

"Copy that Base," they heard her giggle, "we'll be fine, nothing major.  The good news is we found that pocket and the people in it.  The bad news is that I don't see an accessible way out.  It looks like a maze down here, I'm going to head east and see what I can find."

"What's a pocket?" a relieved Hayden asked Eric. 

"That's what they call it when the falling debris creates a make shift support.  The support creates a pocket where survivors can be protected until they're found or until..."

"Or until what?"

"Or until the structure collapses from the weight above it," Eric said mournfully.  "But we'll get her out before then, don't think about anything else."

"Don't worry," Hayden wiped the sweat off his forehead, "I can't."

The radios were quiet for nearly a half hour when Melissa came back on.  "Base - I think I found a possible outlet.  Initial assessment shows it to be steep but the sturdiest I've found down here.  I'm approximately 150 yards southeast of previous location.    Request search unit to confirm."

"Copy that Search 2.  All search units proceed to requested location, 150 yards southeast of Rescue 3," Karen relayed.

"Rescue 3?" Melissa chuckled into her radio.  "You know big brother, I don't really need a babysitter anymore."

"Yeah, well, get out of there and prove it," Eric laughed back.

Garry was the first to find the opening that led to them, yelling down to confirm.  While the team readied the area to get them out, Melissa and Kona returned to lead out the people they had found.  It was a slow and tedious journey through the labyrinth created by the devastation. 

"Who do you have down there sis?" Eric called down into the cavern.

"Two adults and three kids, all under the age of five," she yelled back up.  "The route up looks rather unforgiving, but I don't see any other way - do you?"

"No, we've looked.  They've got you pretty well shored up from this end, but it's still pretty shaky.  You going to have them piggy back?"

"I don't think we have a choice, it's wobbly down here too," she sighed.  "Let me go talk to them."

Melissa looked back at the young family, scared and huddled together.  The kids were petting Kona, who had gone to sit with them.  "Good girl," she praised, giving her ears a gentle rub.  Doing her best, she explained the plan to the family as the team lowered a knotted rope down to them.  Pulling on the end to create tension, she motioned to the father.

"Mel?  You ready?" Eric called down again.

"The Dad and oldest son are ready I think.  My Spanish stinks, have I mentioned that lately?" she groaned.  "I don't know if I told them we were getting out of here or GOING out to eat."

Her joke broke the tension that had been building.  "Papá, usted primero," she told the father.  He made his way out of the cavern slowly, carrying his son on his back.  It was a tearful separation when it was time for the mother to go.  She would carry out the smallest girl, tied into the front of her shirt, but would have to trust her other daughter to Melissa to bring out.  "Mamá, usted luego," she told her, trying to recall how to tell the reluctant woman it would be ok.  "Será bueno," she told her, and the young mothers smile told her she had gotten that translation close enough.

The cheers heard outside the cavern told her that the mom was out successfully so Melissa went to get the remaining girl only to see Kona bolt into the recesses of one of the tunnels.  It was so unlike Kona that she instinctively followed and found her carefully pawing at a stack of fallen boards.  As they moved the boards away, the cries that Kona had heard became more obvious.

"It's a baby kitten," she said picking it up and resting it in her lap to see if it was strong enough to survive.  Kona began licking the small bundle of fur the full length of its tiny body and the soft purrs became stronger.

"Melissa!" Garry yelled down, "Let's go!  It's not looking too good from up here!"

Kona's eyes pleaded with her partner, but it wasn't necessary.  "Of course it comes, but how are we going to get it out of here?"

It was a question the brave dog could answer without words.  Gently picking the tiny kitten up with her teeth by the scruff of its neck, she would be carrying her own passenger out of the tunnel.  Melissa picked up the youngest girl and told her to hold on.  Unlike the son, Melissa couldn't trust the young Isabella to hold onto her back, so she carried the girl holding on the front so, if she slipped, she could be more easily grabbed.

Calling up that they were on their way, they followed Kona and her kitten up the jagged path.  It was steep but rugged enough that Kona had been able to climb up ahead of Melissa.  "Oh man," she yelled up, "I'm out of shape!"  Seeing real sky was a relief as they approached the end, but the happiness was cut short when Melissa realized Kona couldn't climb anymore, the slope had become too steep.

"Hold on up there," she called to the team.  "Kona can't get any further.  Give us a minute."

"You don't have a minute Mel," Eric called down, "we get another aftershock, this whole thing is gonna go."  Eric looked over at Hayden whose concern was evident.  They both knew she would never leave Kona.

"Ok - do we have strong hands up there?"

"Yeah - what's your plan sis?"

"Time for the ladder...on three, you ready?"

"You aren't serious!" Eric yelled back, before looking at Hayden to explain.  "She taught Kona the most ridiculous trick - I tease her about it."  Garry knew what Melissa was doing, so he, Eric and Hayden took point around the small opening ready to catch Kona when she came through.

"You have a better idea?"

"No... go ahead.  If she gets up here, we'll grab her."  He called down before telling Hayden what was happening.  "Kona jumps onto her back and then leaps pretty much straight up, so when you see any part of her, snag it."  With the words barely out of his mouth, they heard Melissa send Kona and as she appeared at the opening, Eric and Garry managed to catch her vest while Hayden slipped his arm under her stomach as they lifted her out.  "She's out - now get up here!" Eric shouted down, his uneasiness growing.

A minute later, Melissa's hand appeared at the jutted edge of the tunnel and Eric pulled her up while Garry took Isabella from her and began to walk down toward her waiting mother.  Shaken, exhausted, and mildly blinded by the brightness of the setting sun, she staggered slightly before she felt herself supported from behind.  The need for composure had passed, the family was out and she and Kona were safe, so she did something she had never done after a recovery mission.  She began to cry.

"Hey," Eric said softly, "It's ok sis, you're safe."

"It's not ok!" she fired back, angry with herself for crying and surprised that she still had tears left after the last three weeks.  "Don't you see?  Those girls in Yosemite - I came back to camp and he was there.  The car crash in L.A. - he was there.  Even that fire at home..." she was stopped by the sobs that she continued, unsuccessfully, to fight.  "I could be strong.  I could do my job, and when it was over I could fall into his arms.  The rotten parts of the world would disappear and everything would be better.  But not now!"  Weeping openly she had stopped wondering why her brother was even there.  If there was anyone she could yell at and get away with it, he was her best target.  "So, no!" she lashed out.  "It isn't ok!"

"Sis..." his voice was calm and reassuring, taking each verbal blow in stride.

"I miss him," her voice cracked, the anger changing to sorrow.  "I need him.  I never should have let go..." It was only then did she feel the warm breath on her neck and the hands wrapped around her waist.

"You didn't let go beautiful," Hayden whispered.  "I did, but never again.  I've got you and this time I'm not letting go."

She thought her mind was deceiving her as she looked down at the hand resting on her stomach.  Sliding her own hand over, she ran her fingers over the simple bracelet.  "Love?" she asked tentatively, almost afraid to believe it.

"You?" he grinned kissing her neck, leaving his head nestled in the nape.  "You bet I do.  I need you too, so very much.  "  Finally finding the courage to turn around, the strength of his arms still holding her, she saw the honesty in his eyes as he looked into hers.  "Nothing's changed," he smiled.  "Every time I see you, you are more beautiful and I fall more in love."

There was nothing to she could say.  Burying her face into his chest her tears of sorrow were replaced by those of joy.  Back in the arms of the one they loved, the sun setting in the distance, they were where they knew they belonged.

*****

Hayden helped Melissa down to the first aid tent and out of her search jacket.  The fall through the debris slide had given her some cuts that needed to be checked and cleaned.  As she sat on the cot, her spandex halter-top exposed the wounds left by the shooting and her surgery.  He didn't mean to stare, but his heart sank at the sight.  He certainly never meant for her to catch him.

Taking his hand, she squeezed gently.  "More battle wounds to show off to future generations," she joked.  "I'm full of them.  I think I'm a closet klutz."

"Maybe," he smirked, catching on to what she was doing.  "But you're my klutz."  Holding her had felt so right, so long overdue, but now he had another thought he couldn't get out of his head.  Moving to sit next to her he tenderly pushed a wisp of loose hair behind her ear as he glided his fingers over her cheek.  His eyes darted between her eyes and her lips as he slowly leaned into her. 

It had seemed like an eternity since he'd last kissed her.  All the love he felt in his heart, all the desire he held in his soul - he wanted her to feel that power in this kiss.  Brushing his full lips across hers, nothing had ever tasted sweeter.  His hand moving to the back of her neck, he guided her back to him, their kisses growing more passionate as they slowly began to devour each other.  Moving his other hand to her waist, he caressed the smoothness of her skin, inadvertently brushing over one of the wounds and feeling her flinch.

"Sorry..." he gasped out of breath.

"You can be sorry like that anytime," she grinned.  "Besides, we were being watched," using only her eyes, she directed Hayden to Kona sitting at their feet.  Hayden had barely had a chance to acknowledge her when she moved a step closer to him, still holding the small kitten in her mouth.  "I think..." Melissa started only to be stopped by Hayden.

"I think I know," he said cupping his hands in his lap as Kona gently laid the kitten in them.  "You need help taking care of this little one?" he asked her, receiving his reply as Kona rested her head on his knee, staring up at him with her large dark eyes.  "Ok, will do.  First item is some milk I think," he grinned.  "I'll be right back beautiful."

He returned shortly after, Kona on his heels, with a tiny bottle that Peter had rigged up from a first aid kit and some powered milk.  "Not perfect, but at least it's food," he said resting the kitten in his lap as it sucked eagerly at the bottle.  "Speaking of...I understand you haven't eaten much and they're getting dinner ready down there.  Join me?"

"I'm not sure you could come up with an offer I would refuse at the moment."

"I love it when you smile," he told her, kissing her again, "and when you kiss me and grrrr," he growled at her, a devilish look on his face that made her giggle.  Laughing felt good.  It had been far too long for both of them. 
The team stopped long enough to eat before they headed back out for another pass through another section of the pile.  Hayden stayed in camp and kept his promise to Kona to take care of the baby kitten.  Staying close to Karen so he could keep track of where everyone was, he listened as they called it a night and one of the southern California teams took over. 

Melissa returned to camp to find Eric asleep on one of the hospital cots.  "That means the back of his truck is open," she yawned to Hayden.

"There's four of us now," he said pointing to the little kitten asleep on a blanket.  "Do you think we'll fit?"

"We'll manage," she grinned.  "Guess we'll just have to snuggle up."

"Sign me up!" he winked.

Not since their days at the cottage had the two of them slept so soundly or contently.  Melissa loved to be held by Hayden as much as loved the feel of her in his arms.  There was a lot to decide on and the inevitable fact that Hayden would have to return to Australia, but he pushed those thoughts from his mind.  Closing his eyes, breathing in every bit of her, lost in the feel of her hair on his arm, his breathing slowed as he fell asleep.  Spooned together the night held pleasant dreams for them and no worries of the days to come. 

*Part 40

As dawn peeked in through the camper windows, Melissa and Hayden did their best to ignore it, refusing to admit they were even awake.  Life hadn't been truly relaxing for Melissa since Mylene's first letter arrived and she was determined to enjoy the return of her perfect dream.  The bad parts of the world disappeared as she rested her head against his chest, her arm resting on bend of his waist.

For Hayden, her simplest touch drove him crazy with desire.  The feel of her fingers against his skin as they glided gently across each ripple of his ribs, the warmth of her palm resting on his chest, each a reminder of what he'd missed and what he'd come so close to loosing.

"Beautiful?"

"Shhh...I'm having this amazing dream and I don't want to wake up," she joked.

"Isn't that funny.   I'm having a pretty spectacular dream myself," his arms pulling her tighter to him.

They rested there in silence as they slowly resigned themselves to the new day.  "I know how busy your schedule can be," she said finally looking up at him and running her fingers over the lines of his face.  "How did you get here?"

"Well, it was a pretty long swim..." he smirked.

"Oh," she said with a playful slug.  "You're impossible."

"To resist?"

"Yes.  Completely."

"Good."  He could not stop kissing her, pressing his lips tenderly on her forehead and cheeks as he explained.  "The short story is that George rearranged the shooting schedule so I could have a few days off, but I do have to go back."

"I suspected as much," she sighed.  "So, when do I get to hear the long version of the story?"

"We'd have plenty of time on the flight to Sydney.  That is, if you'll come with me."  He stopped his kisses long enough to gaze at her, the awe he felt showing in his eyes.  "I meant it when I said I needed you."

"I meant what I said too," she sighed in a deceitful ploy.  "There is no offer from you I could refuse..."

That was all the affirmation he needed, their lips meeting with a crash, the passion nearly uncontrollable.  As she pressed her body closer, his legs wrapped themselves around hers.  He kissed his way down her neck, burying his head in her chest.  She threw her head back, giving herself completely to the feelings she had spent the last few weeks pushing from her memory.  The feeling of his hips pressed into hers caused her head to spin.

Pressed up against Melissa's back, Kona groaned at the interruption of her slumber and, while they probably should have been disappointed by the loss of the moment, they couldn't help but giggle.  "Welcome back," she snickered to Hayden.  Propping himself up on his elbow while Melissa rolled over, they wished they had a camera to capture the moment before them.  The tiny kitten had made its way up under Kona's chin and was purring loudly while snuggled into the soft fur of her neck. 

"So, what are we going to call her?" Hayden asked.  "This is assuming that, like me, you haven't got the nerve to tell Kona that she can't keep her."

"You assume correctly," her heart soaring at his use of the word 'we'.  "After seeing her eyes before we left that mess, there isn't any way she's going to let this little bit of fluff leave."

As they contemplated what to name the little calico kitten, the base PA unit called for all available personal to report in.  "Time for the two of you to go to work.  I'll take fuzz ball duty," Hayden resigned happily.

"You're taking me away from all this, right?" she asked as she slipped painfully into her search jacket, her sore muscles reminding her of the day before. 

"You can take the girl out of the search, but you can't take the search out of the girl," he winked.  With a quick kiss and a wink in return, Melissa and Kona were gone.  Scooping up the kitten he held her up.  "Well, pretty lady, looks like it's just us.  May I interest you in some morning breakfast?  I understand the chef makes an unbeatable bottle of powdered milk..."

Melissa arrived to find her brother already there and she took the opportunity to give him a peck on the cheek.  "Thanks E."

"Hmmm," he mocked.  "Would that be 'thanks for driving my boyfriend to Mexico', or 'thanks for pulling my sorry, out of shape, keester out of that pile of rubble', or even possibly, 'thanks for sleeping on a cot so I could stretch out in your truck last night'?"

"Yes," she said simply, "and then some.  Say, um, when are you going back home?"

"That depends.  I figure whenever you get around to asking me for a ride," he smirked.

"He asked me to go back to Australia with him - I have so much to do..."

"No you don't."

She had no idea what her older sibling was thinking of, she could think of several of things that she needed to do.  "What are you talking about?"

"Just get on the plane sis, that's all you have to do.  That suitcase you never unpacked?  We brought it with us.  Last night after dinner I called Kate - she's thrilled at the idea of Kona coming home for an extended visit.  Now, unless I'm mistaken, your important bases are covered."

It seemed hard to believe that there had been a time when she didn't cry, as much as she seemed to do it lately.  "I love you," she said quietly, "But I'll deny I ever admitted it," she beamed. 

"Me too sis," he answered, giving her hair a playful rumple.  "On both counts..."

*****

It was a full truck that left the search site later that morning, bound for Hayden's house in the hills above Hollywood.  Dropping off his passengers, Eric stayed only long enough to eat before leaving to finish the drive back home.  She didn't ask, but Melissa was sure he was eager to return to Beth.  He had given no clues, but there was a look in his eye that told her and she wondered if he saw that same look in her eyes when she talked about Hayden.

"Take care of her," Eric had said as he shook Hayden's hand before leaving, "even when she thinks she doesn't need it."

As his truck drove into the distance, Hayden and Melissa found themselves listening to the silence.  "Wow, you hear that?" she grinned.

"The perfect sound to relax by," he said with a hug.  "I'm thinking...bath."

"I concur," she laughed.  "Kona kind of stinks."

"That's not exactly what I had in mind, but never say I'm not flexible.  You give take care of Kona, and I'll take care of F.B. and you." 

"Phoebe?" she questioned.

"F.B. - Fuzz Ball actually, but Phoebe is cute."

Kona seemed to agree and carried the kitten over.  "Sounds unanimous.  Now...what was that part about taking care of me?" she said with a coy tone in her voice.

Having now captured her full attention, he elaborated.  "I'm thinking bubbles, maybe some bath oil, and more candles than you can count.  Come on back when you're finished."

"This is probably going to be Kona's fastest bath ever!" she smiled, "and I'm sure she won't complain."

A short while later, a fresh smelling Kona was stretched out on the back patio, tending to her own coat as well as Phoebe's, who wasn't particularly amused by the cleaning process.  Confident that the two would soon give up on grooming and succumb to the warm sun, Melissa went to undress for the bath Hayden had alluded to earlier.  Stripping off her shorts and tank top, she wrapped a towel around her and slowly opened the bathroom door.

The plantation shudders were drawn and countless candles, all gently flickering from the breeze created by the opening door, lit the room.  The oversized tub was filled to the brim with fluffy bubbles and a bottle of wine with two glasses sat on its edge.  As her eyes floated around the room, taking it all in, they stopped suddenly at Hayden who had decided to test out the bath for himself.  "Did I forget to mention that this bath came with a personal back scrubber?" he grinned.

"That you did, but I'm not about to complain," she said as she slipped from her towel and into the steaming tub.  Assuming their favorite position, she rested her back against his chest as his fingertips slid delicately in random patterns over her legs and stomach.  Closing her eyes, she quickly began to loose herself when she felt his fingers rest over one of her healing wounds.  Remembering how he had reacted just the day before, she brought her hands up and placed them over his.  "Are you all right?"

"It's over right," he answered quietly.  "Mylene's in jail?"

"Yeah, it's over.  I was at the sentencing, so was Tove.  Did he tell you he was here?"

"Only recently," he sighed.  "He told me that he helped with the press."

"He was a lifesaver, really.  He kept them away from me so I could deal with things in my own time and in my own way."

Wrapping his arms around her and resting his cheek upon her shoulder, he closed his eyes and silently cursed his actions before apologizing.  "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you.  I'm sorry I was so stupid."

"You weren't stupid, love, you were scared," she sighed, her tone dropping slightly.  "So was I, but that's ok, it's the only way we learn how to be brave."  She wondered if she should ask him the question floating through her mind, and curiosity finally got the better of her.  "Why did you come back?"

Once again his fingers began their journeys on her body, the mix of the bath oil causing them to glide fluidly over her skin.  He would run his fingers in between hers, continuing across the top of her hand and back down again.  "You heard me," he whispered in her ear.  "You heard me when you shouldn't have been able to.  You believed in what I said and helped me remember and to believe.  I was lost, angry, and thousands of miles away but you still found a way to make it better...you make me better."

"Lost and angry, huh?  That's something I can relate to," she said, recalling memories of her bedroom breakdown. "So, tell me about Sydney.  How is filming going?"

"Sydney is like another world.  The first time I was there, everything was so spectacular.  This time, it felt empty.  I would go for a jog through downtown every morning and see things I wanted to show you.  I would run past store windows full of things that I knew you would love and you weren't there to share them.  Every morning I was reminded that my misery was my own fault and by the time filming would start, the rage I needed for the role was real."

Under the sudsy water, he continued to massage and stroke her hands and she loved the way that felt, so she just turned her head and kissed him.  "I wasn't exactly the pillar of patience," she smiled, "but we're here now.  We're together.  So," she said leaning back into his chest, "tell me about those store windows.  When we get there will you show me all those things that you thought I'd love?"

"I'll show you what's left."

"What's left?"

"Well," he explained.  "There was this one thing that just had to be yours.  Every morning I saw it and every morning I swore it was created just for you.  So, after I made up my mind to come back, I have Tove drive me to the store before we went to the airport."

"You got me a present?" she said nervous laugh.  "Do I get any hints as to what it might be?"

"Nope - you just get it." 

His fingers stopped their movements and lifted her left hand out of water to reveal the most spectacular ring she had ever seen slipped on her finger.  Set on a thin gold band was an oval shaped Australian Fire Opal, with two exquisite trillion cut diamonds on either side   "Oh Hayden," she gasped.  "It's beautiful."

"I know it's not traditional," he said, still holding gently to her hand as they looked at the ring, "but it's you. Its design is simple, but yet it is elegant and full of the beauty nature bestowed upon it.  It has a fire that ignites everything that surrounds it, creating a shine so bright that it leaves the stars jealous.  It is one of a kind and priceless to those who understand it's meaning and purpose."  He paused for a moment to wrap his fingers through hers and nestle his face a little closer to hers.  "This ring was meant for you just like we were meant for each other.  I love you Melissa," he whispered.  "Will you marry me?"

She was sure she must have gone pale, a proposal being the last thing she expected.  Her first attempt at an answer came out more of a squeak than a word, calming Hayden's nerves. Guiding her face to look at him, he saw the tears in her eyes.  "Was that a yes?" he asked hopefully.

Nodding while she tried to find her voice, she couldn't resist a quick kiss.  "Yes," she finally said causing Hayden's eyes to begin to glisten.  "Of course I'll marry you.  I'm not about to let you go again."

All that they had been through was forgotten for that moment.  Their lives centered solely on being together and in the beautiful gift they had in their love.   Leaning in to kiss her, the desire that had been building was finally released, creating a heat and a passion like they had never known.  Floating freely in the warm water, joined in body and spirit, they knew their hearts were safe.  For both, knowing the other had changed what they believed in and how they viewed life.  Free to be themselves and to be loved more because of it, they shared a love that was unselfish and dreamt of the day they would become husband and wife.

As they made love, no words were said, but they still heard each other.